Do you wish you'd waited?

[Mummy&Daddy2Be]

Nope. I couldn't think of anything worse than being 45 odd and having a 10 year old, to put it bluntly

i would have to agree with you there

[*Ang*]

Nope. I was 27 when I had DD1 and as far as we were concerned it was perfect timing. She was planned, we were married a couple of years and living o/s when we conceived. We moved back to OZ when I was 35 weeks pregnant and haven't looked back since

We were the first amongst all of our friends to have a child and now I see them all with their first or second at a similar age to us and we have finished our little family and I certainly don't regret it at all. In fact I am glad we had ours before 30. I am the youngest mum in DD1's class (which has surprised me) and one of the youngest in DS's...who knows next year with DD2.

[Rouge]

Not at all. My first was conceived when I was 21. My second just shy of my 25th. For me fertility was the reason we decided to have children early. When I was 18 I was by my gyn told it would be a struggle. My first was a miracle baby. The dr laughed in my face when I told her I was pregnant :/ The struggle came with DS, albeit not as much of a struggle as some. 2 miscarriages and a fertility specialist later we conceived DS. I think had I waited till now, it would have been even more difficult.

I was ridiculed and judged a lot as young mother. By my family, by friends and even mothers groups. Yet I did it. And now my life is in a great place. I don't feel as though I suffered career wise as I have had a lot more time to decide on what I want and still focus on being a mother. It's the mindset of others I struggled with more than being a young mother. I love my life. I love how I have raised my kids and I'm very proud of our achievements.

[wysiwyg]

I actually often think would have been better younger - the idea of a career after children seems better to me for a few reasons, one is you might have different perspective so have different career path (like Trav) two - unless you want to work full time and not have much of a break is difficult getting back to what you may have spent years building up. Personally I think the idea of waiting till have a career sorted is flawed until it is easier to return to work access part time employment etc.

[Jennifer13]

I conceived DD1 at 28, younger than both of our sets of parents were to have number one, actually. I wish we'd started a few years earlier! We met when I was 22, but I had always assumed two kids, so no rush. We were waiting until our 30s and DD1 snuck in.

I had no idea how much we'd both love parenthood and we could have managed more children if we'd started earlier. Although you never know what the future holds.

Also, we are extremely fortunate and fertility isn't an issue for us at this point. I have lots of other friends who did wait and suffered the heartache of infertility and multiple losses in their late 30s. If I had a do-over I wouldn't want to take that chance.

[Phteven]

Yes. I was 28 when I conceived Ds1 and I had been married for 4 months. It would have been nice to enjoy more time together travelling without kids before we started breeding. Tbh I didn't expect to conceive within 2 months of coming off the pill or I would have stayed on it lol.
I'm incredibly grateful that I didn't fall pregnant when I was younger. I would have hated to miss out on my irresponsible early 20's and not seen the amazing places I travelled to. Not that I have stopped travelling but it's different in the company of children. More playgrounds lol

[Chrispe]

I don't wish I'd waited to have kids, but I do wish I had studied before having them. I left school at 16 and worked in low paid jobs until getting married and having kids. I still can only get low paid work and find it really hard to study now with little ones running around.
I had mine at 22, 24, 28 and 30. So if had finished school and gone straight to uni I still could have had babies at the ages I did. I'm glad that when I'm old enough to retire my kids will be old enough to either have left home or take care of themselves while DH and I travel. (we already have a few plans of where we want to go.)

[LuluHB]

I'm both ends of the spectrum here. I wish we could have waited and spent more time together. I fell pregnant on our honeymoon, lost that pregnancy and then went on to conceive DD1 a couple of months later. We were married 18 months after we first started seeing each other, so it would have been lovely to have had more time together just the two of us. Given our age and my OB history, waiting just wouldn't have been advisable.

The flip side is that I wish we had met 10 years earlier so that our children could have been born 5 years earlier than they were ITMS. I have no problem with the ages now - being an older mum while not appealing to many has enormous benefits (as I'm sure does being a younger mum) - even getting 5 more years at the end of my life to enjoy my grandchildren would be wonderful.

[Beautiful Disaster]

nope. my mum had me at 19 and I didnt want to be like that. I had ds 3 weeks after my 29th birthday. I always wanted 2 kids by time I was 30 that clearly didn't happen lol I didnt want to be on of those older parents that when my kids got to school people thought I was the grandparent.

[nothing2lose]

It's funny. I had dd when I was 31. I was the youngest by far in my maternity ward, and I am one of the youngest parents in her school year level.

[Artechim]

I very much wish I had waited. I was 24 when I got pregnant with DS. I had been married for nearly a year. I feel like I have missed any opportunity to travel and to have a career. I know we can travel with kids or when they have left home, but travelling in your 50's isn't the same as travelling in your 20's and doesn't give you the life experience to share with your kids itms.

I will be advising my children to get out and experience the world before they get stuck at home with kids.

[Phteven]

I'm one of the younger parents in my children's classes N2L so perhaps that depends on where you live. I used to be amazed by how youthful some of the Mums were but then I realised they were the nannies lol.
I imagine that if I still lived in the suburb where DS2 was born that I would have been one of the older Mums.

[nothing2lose]

I'm one of the younger parents in my children's classes N2L so perhaps that depends on where you live. I used to be amazed by how youthful some of the Mums were but then I realised they were the nannies lol.
I imagine that if I still lived in the suburb where DS2 was born that I would have been one of the older Mums.

Or maybe I just look younger? Either that or I am delusional

[Phteven]

I think it's all three. You do look youthful but you're probably younger too and possibly delusional

Some of the parents at our school are in their 50's.

[Trillian]

My family have all been on the young side and DH's have all been on the older side when starting a family. Ideally we wanted to wait - DH really wanted to have more time as a couple first and wait at least a year after we were married before trying to have kids. I really wanted a baby NOW LOL, and lucky for me fate intervened and our first baby was born 6 weeks before our first anniversary and I had just turned 23 a few weeks prior. Sometimes I think it would have been nice to have that year to ourselves - a lot of people we know have done that and taken holidays together as well etc, but I'm not unhappy or regretful about it at all. Once we started having the kids, I wanted to have them all by the time I was 30 and DS2 was born when I was 29. Now we're looking forward to when the kids have grown and (hopefully ) left home. We will still be young enough and financially stable enough to do all the things that we couldn't do because of having the kids kwim? I'm loving the idea that I will only be 40 when DS1 finishes school and not even 50 by the time DS2 finishes school.

[Rowellen]

I had my first at 28 & I kind of wish I'd started earlier. I wouldn't change anything now though, we're happy. I was brought up the same way N2L. Career was the thing to have. Meh. I could take it or leave it. I'm an accountant. It's not that exciting. I have not worked overseas. I didn't want to and still don't but it was a consideration when choosing what career to undertake. Most of my friend's waited until late 20's early 30's too.

[lady_neon]

We are the perfect ages for us. I was 20 when we got married (DH 27) and we both wanted a baby when DH was 30. DS was born 3 months after DH was 30 (me 23).

Career wise, DH is well established and a senior at the company, who are looking to have him as an associate in the next few years. He's well travelled (mission work in some Asian and pacific island countries included). Me, well I never knew what kind of career I wanted,.always had a feeling, and now I know for sure its what I want to do and conveniently its something o can study at home. If I'd have studied straight out o school I'd have ended up doing something completely different and I shudder at the thought of it now lol

I've never had a huge desire to travel the world. DH and I have travelled the west coast of Aus together, been on 4 holidays together and thinking of going to NZ next year (we both have already been). So we've spent plenty of time enjoying each other and we have recently bought our own home which is a work in progress.

[Jellyfish]

I don't in the end but that doesn't mean I don't realise the downsides to my situation, just that they are outweighed by the positives. My children were not planned so it sort of happened when it happened (first born just after 21, second after 24). If I had of chosen I'm not sure I would have ever had children so I'm kind of thankful it happened this way because I had no idea what I was missing out on. I feel forever grateful for this twist in my life.

Things I love about being a young mum is that I have a lot of energy. Little to no sleep doesn't phase me so I can parent the way that speaks to me with ease (co-sleeping, feeding to sleep, letting them sleep through in their own time which was just before 3 for the first and yet to be seen in the second), the running around and constant demand of it all is not overwhelmingly tiring (I can baby-wear my youngest all day while exploring with my oldest), I just feel in a good place to be dealing with the whole thing and motherhood feels very suited to my life right now. I had easy pregnancies and birth which might have been influenced by being young and fit. My parents are young enough still to chase after the kids and give them a lot of time and energy. They are very involved and it makes me think that I might have a similar relationship with my grandchildren should I ever be blessed in that way because there is every chance I'll still be quite sprightly. It inspired me onto a pathway in life I never would have chosen myself, it led me to my partner. It taught me SO much and made me a better person. I appreciate my parents and time in a whole new way, I am motivated in a whole new way. I'm glad I have gotten this insight to life at a young age.

Things that aren't so great are not having ANY time as just a couple with DP (already had DD1 when we met). We often wistfully imagine what life would have been like just as us two before kids although the good thing about being young is we have many years once they are more independent to enjoy. Having DD1 not being my partner's kind of sucks although I love who DD1 is so it is a tough thing really, I guess the genes were a good combination. I couldn't have DD1 without her dad, it is just an extra complication I could do without. Not having set up ourselves more financially although we have no debt so I guess it could be worse, we do pretty well.

I absolutely adore being a family of four. I love just kicking back together at the beach or the park, I just feel happy being together (just got back from the pool actually and having some quick downtime while they nap before a late lunch out and then off to the grandparents to explore the Christmas lights and that is just the absolute perfect day in my book). If somebody could timelock my children as they are right now for me to defrost in a few years I don't think I would be tempted to take them up on the offer although I can appreciate what benefits there are to having waited, I like things just the way they are.

Not sure if this influences things but I had already traveled pretty extensively overseas (although there are still places on my list) and was never a big drinker (never been drunk) or partier.