Thanks everyone for your replies - I've been awol from BB as DH bought me a great book for my birthday

ATM, DH isn't keen to say anything so I'm letting him take the lead, but I've come to the realistation that DS is my baby and I'll take him back if I want to , and if they don't like it then tough! DH will prorably say something if his Dad raises his voice again though as thats not on. My parents have said they will have certain rules for their house, which doesn't worry me, as its mainly things like she can't play with certain stuff (fair enough) but when it comes to things like eating and bedtime etc, we're the parents and they accept how we do things. I can also say to my dad not to do something and he'll listen. You'd think DH's parents would get the idea that we're not comfortable leaving DD with them - they only ever get asked to babysit for short times (ie an hour or 2 at most), whereas my parents have her overnight every now and then when its needed.

Thanks again - I think we're just going to see how we go for now, and hopefully we won't have to rock the boat (my problem is I hate confrontation!)