It also doesn't help when DH tells me the kids don't act in the same manner when I am not around.. Makes me feel like I am doing something wrong..
Just wanted to say this is completely normal - DD if is on her own with DH is very well behaved, less when is the two of us, least with just me. I believe is mainly due to the fact she spends the least time with him, so doesn't act up because she enjoys the time they have together and doesn't waste it on tantrums. Our parenting styles are not that different but she does behave differently depending on who she is with. Is like being a perfect child at childcare etc. I suppose I liken it to, as adults often if you don't see someone as often you make more of an effort to get on and just get on with it, when you are with someone all the time you feel you have time to work through any issues so they rise to the surface.