Liz - I was just saying what works for me...doesnt mean it works for others. We are all permitted to our own views on parenting and I simply just answered someones question.
I was a hard mum with my first 2...I refuse to let that happen again. I saw the fear in my childrens eyes. Its a sickening feeling and something I will never forgive myself for.
Only you can work out what works for you and your child. Im sorry that your having such a terrible time with DS I truely hop ehtat you find something that works for both of you
nah it's ok Maz Wasn't upset with anything you said.. like I said, we've tried it, but have just found it kind of skirts the issue and doesn't help him resolve what's upsetting him. Deep down it feels like a phase.. he does know how to behave.. which gives me some comfort LOL.. he's just really pushing it with us. I'm sure we'll survive it... I'm just wondering what the next challenge will be LOL.
Thank goodness I'm not alone! I've recently posted another thread about how hard I'm finding it juggling a new baby and a 4 year old DD that seems to be sprouting horns. She used to be such a sweet wee thing and now it's not often that sweet is a word I would use to describe her
I always think that if I could just give her my full attention then her behaviour would improve, but at the moment even if she has me or DH's undivided attention she will still dissolve in to tears or storm off and slam her bedroom door at the first sign of things not going her way. I also have been trying to keep on top of feeding and sleeping as I know that has a huge effect on how she copes through the day.
Sorry I'm not much help but just wanted to let you know we're going through very similar things here and I totally understand the mummy guilt that you appear to be experiencing too I just keep telling myself that this is a stage and it will end. It will.... won't it?!
Have you read The Science of Parenting? I find it to be really useful at times like this. Reminds me that almost all of DDs behaviour is beyond her control and is more likely to be the result of something I have control over ie. tired, hungry etc. That said, when I'm in the middle of dealing with a seriously stroppy and defiant child it's hard to remember! I find a good vent when DH gets home helps to off load after a hard day (of course we do this out of ear-shot of DD).
Maz, I absolutely love your advice and am gonna give the music a go tomorrow when things start going haywire with DS. Thanks for being honest about your regrets on tough parenting, I will keep that in my mind always.
Today DS seems to be working his anger out, he would start a tanty then just stop and stroke my arm and say sorry and we would talk about his feelings! WOOHOO, break through, we shall see if it still works tomorrow though
I think she is testing you.. my frined has 5 childrne and i always listen to
DISAPLINE and CONSISTANCY.... so she knows what to expect before she does something naughty..
very importnant to not let her get away with Anything!!!! LOTS OF WORK FROM YOU I KNOW!!!!
BUT follow through is what she is trying to push!!!
Widdly - isn't it great to see them trying. It's not easy for them either, and we have to remember that. I often see DS stop himself saying something (he stops and looks at me and smiles cos he's pretty proud of himself for catching it in time), and I can see him really making the effort to bring the tone of his voice right down (when reminded), and I'm really trying to praise his efforts.
The wobblies are still outnumbering the times he stops himself, but it's progress none the less haha.
oh no, my ds isn't 3 yet, you mean I have another 2 years of this?? I was hoping he would get it all out of his system when I go back to work and he goes back to creche and I would have a little angle by the time I went to have bubs #3
doh!
Queen- whats 1,2,3 magic?
Magic sounds like something we could do with abit more of in this house at the moment! MR 4.5 is outa control alot too. SO both myself and DH are comforted by your stories as they mirror ours.
Hugs all round
We are all permitted to our own views on parenting and I simply just answered someones question.
and something I will never forgive myself for.
Wasn't upset with anything you said.. like I said, we've tried it, but have just found it kind of skirts the issue and doesn't help him resolve what's upsetting him. Deep down it feels like a phase.. he does know how to behave.. which gives me some comfort LOL.. he's just really pushing it with us. I'm sure we'll survive it... I'm just wondering what the next challenge will be LOL.
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