Raising girls is starting to scare me!

[Beatrix]

Yes def more to it then teen pg. Don't think I am brushing aside other issues.

I hope I can teach my girls to have enough respect for themselves to avoid these issues.

[Trillian]

Fair point... but there is a lot more to unprotected sex than conception.

I agree about the age difference issue. I hope my boys are NOT 15 year olds getting blow jobs from 10 year olds. It's sickening and shows no respect to those girls.

A few weeks ago I was sitting outside a cafe after school and there was a group of boys I know are only in year 8 at school - so 14yo tops. A girl came up to them and the way one of the boys was speaking to her was just appalling and there was absolutely no respect for her. Now I know this kid (as you do in a small country town) and he's an australian champion dirt track motorcycle rider so there is a massive ego involved as well and he was playing the 'tough guy' and his mates were laughing and egging him on, but what worried me the most is that this girl would go away for a bit after he'd slagged her off, then she'd come back again all smiles and giggles and I felt really sad for her that being spoken to like that was a game to her. I wish she had the courage to tell him to **** off, because that's what he deserved. I would be horrified if I ever found out that one of my boys was treating girls so disrespectfully and equally as horrified if one of my girls thought that was an appropriate way to be spoken to. What I also thought of, was that this is a group of young people who are only just starting to find themselves kwim? What are they going to be like at 18 or even 25?

[Pretty Butterfly]

Scary isnt it???

I *hope* I have taught my DD well so far... and I think I have taught her more about getting diseases than pregnancy, she knows all about that with all the kids here!!!

She's a tough cookie, but very nieve(sp?), so I gotta stay on top of things!!
She dumped her b/f cause he was mean to her friends, then she felt bad about it.. I told her no way, you stand up for yourself, and if he is horrible to your frinnds, he's a jerk... she stood her ground and stayed away from him. She has self confidence, but she can be a bit dense, poor chook!!

Side note, I have access to her ph and FB.. and there was a debate on whether she should kiss her b/f or not... a MAJOR decision to her... and I was happy to see that it WAS a big decision to her... very proud.
I asked her was she ready to take on his germs and be so serious... NOPE... thank god!!!

Wer'e on the right track, for now... high school in a few weeks!!! EEEEKKKKK!!!!

[*Sparklez*]

i agree, i have 3 boys n one girl so i dont think she would be able to get away with much even if she tried..
i worry bout my boys alot as i know that they are very impressionable in the teen yrs n i dont wanna think of what they will get upto n the area i am in too is just full of young naive kids... srsly i hope that my boys dont go out n think its cool to lay someone down to look cool in front of his mates..
i realy would rather they all wait till their married as a very young mum n a single one at that i know first hand exactly how hard n cruel this world can be i never wanna see them unhappy or having a child they never wanted cus no one thought before hand about contraception or even a disease that will ruin their lives..
as for dd i hope that she just gets to be a kid while she is one cus these days they are al growing to fast n thinking they are mature enough at 14 to do everything us adults do n wouldnt do iykwim...
this whole thought n etc is scary i have 4 yrs till my ds is 14 n 5 till my other ds is 14
im literaly ready to get a cage n chastity belts out n use them lol

[RockingBaker]

Im scared with 4 girls. DS is already a very protective older brother and I hope he keeps it up!

[KimB]

As a mum who has already been through the initial stage of teenagehood I can tell you all it is very hard. I thought I had brought DD1 up as a reasonably confident young lady only to see that she decided to be a bit of a sheep and follow the bad crowd. She was caught drinking and smoking so at age 14 we had to get the contraceptive implant put in by our GP who also gave her the 3rd degree and told her how stupid she was being. We now have DS1 reaching preteen years and starting to branch out. His temper is foul and he takes it out on everyone. I still have 1 more DS to go and then 3 more DD's and I'm not sure if I can cope if they all end up like this. It really is an obstacle course navigating the teen and preteen years and you just have to be very flexible in your approach. Maintain the house rules and the respect that you require and hopefully they will get it sooner rather than later.

[*Sparklez*]

kim i offer u a massive n a tbig thank u lol cus u r scaring the crap outta me lol
i dont wanna go through any of thisssssssss!!!!

[beckoes]

i know what you mean!!!! dd is only 2 but i still think about it already.

I have a 14 your old sister in the uk and the last year had really been a roller coster! she is so into boys and is now going out to partys, stealing my mums booze, getting drunk, acting up and the clothes she wears i do not find appropriate for a 14 year old. i have talked to my mum but she is pretty cluless, and doesnt stick by any punishment long enough for it to be effective.

i think you right, you just have to bring them up right and give them the tools to make the right choices and basically hope for the best! a friend of mine who is a fantastic mum and has two kids in thier teens said to me the other day ''they go through stages, when the are born till about 5 years old you have to be right on top of them, guiding them through every decision they make, then from about 5 to 11 you can back off a bit and let them learn for them selves and be more independant, then from 11 you have to be right back on top of them again, guiding them through everything again''

i think thats great advice and her kids talk to her about everything and are good kids....dont get me wrong they get up to normal teenager stuff but they always ask thier mum about situations and she has given them the tools and the power to say no or question a situation, where as my sister just follows the croud and wants to be cool and popular and will do whatever and not think or the bad or reprocutions of a situation.

Teenagerhood terrifies me.....please stay babies forever!

[Tuesday's Child]

When we found out we were having a girl, DH said he needed another shotgun so that he'd have one for each arm...lol

The only bit of parenting advice my mum gave me before she died was "When she's growing up always listen to her, no matter how trivial it seems. Then when she's a teenager she'll know that she can talk to you about anything". Even though we've got years to go yet, it's another reason I'm glad for BB, I'll have the benefit of others sharing their experiences

[beansbeans!]

The idea of puberty and boys and all that scared DH so much when we had our girls that he now has his 'rocking chair and shotgun fund'.

I find it so scary to think these girls are lacking something so great in their lives that they feel they need to fill it with sex and other activities.

[RainbowBrite]

I have been very lucky with my eldest girl...she is nearly 16 and is pretty and bright and has a good sense of who she is and what she wants.
We have had no trouble at all with her. She has had the same BF for a year but they have not 'been all the way'
My 14 year old boy has his moments but treats girls with respect and doesn't drink, smoke or get into trouble (besides the odd thing at school) so I do count my blessings
I can only hope that her sisters (2 and 3) follow in her foot steps....miss 3 is already quite a handful so I am not looking forward to finding out what kind of teenager she is

[SammyRo]

DH is practicing being the tough guy on his 16yo sister, so that he's ready for DD.

There are alot of factors involved, its not necessarily how you parent, although thats a big thing too. Its the child's personality, so if they follow the crowd or if they're strong enough to say no in front of their peers. I've worked in a disadvantaged school, and it also comes down to the girls just looking for some love and affection coz they might not get it at home, but then they look for it in the wrong place (such as a year 9 girl going out with a year 12). Or else having babies and getting benefits is all they know. Probably a bit of a generalisation, I'm sure.

Another thing is I hate some of the fashion for young girls - its too hooker-ish in some cases! A friends 13yo had her primary school graduation, and whilst she had a gorgeous dress that was suitable for her age, while still being fashionable, some of the girls were dressed way too old - one girl in particular had a tight red dress and bright red lipstick that was better suited to a night of seduction for a much older woman than a little girl (and really, at 13 they're still little!)

[shellbell3]

Yes! I so am already dreading the teenage years and theyre only 4 and 2(nearly).
Df jokes about the shotgun but in honesty I hope we do raise them to respect themselves, to stand up for themselves if needed.

[aussienic]

i am just as scared raising boys and a girl. Its a scary thought to think of how early that can get up to stuff.. I talk to my 2 eldest boys though about sex and why they should wait. But also tell them that I want them to feel secure enough to talk to me and Dh about anything. I also tell them they have 3 great grandparents they can talk to as well if they are uncomfortable talking to Mum and Dad. But going on some of the conversations I have with my eldest I don't think that will to much of an issue