Santa? Yes or No?

[MummyNaomi]

We are not religious, but for us, Christmas always symbolises the time of year when family make a special effort to get together, with family in 3 states its quite an accomplishment

However, with regards to Santa - we refer to him as 'Father Christmas' (must be the English heritage) and incorporate him into our festivities, its just part of the magic of Christmas. Our parents gave us that magical gift and eventually we worked out he wasn't real - we aren't scarred or spoiled by it, instead we are just keen to share that magic with our DS. DS is a little to young to understand it all yet, but this year it will make some sense to him, and we plan on telling him that Father Christmas will visit on Christmas eve and label a few of his presents from 'Father Christmas', and we already have a tradition of reading 'The Night before Christmas' on Christmas eve, in fact DH did it while DS was inutero.

I think you can have it both ways, its just about talking to your kids about Father Christmas and what Christmas means to your family. I've never heard of any outraged children scarred for life because their parents 'lied' to them about Father Christmas

[bec293]

My bub is still only small but I am thinking of not having santa. Christmas time in Australia is an overload of consumerism and commercialism as it is, and I feel Santa represents receiving.. getting stuff, being rewarded with objects for being good. I am not religious, and Christmas is a religious holiday. I feel Santa loses the true meaning and makes it all about "what did you get???". I will still celebrate Christmas but as a time for giving, with emphasis on making someone happy by making things for them etc, and sharing the day with family and lots of food and fun. DS will still receive gifts, from me, not because Santa has seen he has been 'good'. I'd like more meaning behind it than that

[meow]

We make no mention of "good" or "bad" in our house. Santa just comes because it's christmas and it's exciting and magical and you can hardly to sleep! I love the buzz. We also do a few small things in the stocking and one unwrapped present from santa. Any other presents are from us and we keep those minimal.

It's funny that a mythical person such as Santa can get people up in arms but they're happy to teach their kids about other mythical beings like God. I share the nativity story at christmas too but I expect my children to understand it's just a fable when they realise santa isn't real either.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

See, as a Christian I'm teaching Liebling that the nativity story is real - and object to you saying it's "just a fable" and you're telling your children that. I do not teach my son the tales of other religions and call them fake: that is disrespectful.

Naomi, I was devastated when I found out the Tooth Fairy was a lie - not because of the fairy, but because my mother had lied to me for years. How could she lie like that? What else does she lie about? I remember the day I found out and how hurt I was. So there you go: you now know of one person scarred for life because of parental lies.

[meow]

Okay I have a book of Greek Mythology and all the religious stories in that are labelled as myths. I do the same with Christian stories too. And as I said, I don't tell my children they are fables. But I will when the time comes for them to understand what is real and what is fantasy. I see believing in God the same as believing in Santa. I guess if it causes you upset to have stories dispelled I can see why that may become difficult.

[~*Kat*~]

We have Santa and we love it. I remember the feeling as a child that Santa will arrive, the excitement, the anticipation. I remember starting to realise that he wasn't real, but not wanting to admit it because it was so much fun.

Whatever you decide, Charlotte, it really doesn't matter. As long as it matters to you and your family

Exactly what I would have said!! Its fun for a while for them and its magic and the land of make believe and for my kids I like them using their imaginations. Each to their own though. I was raised as a Christian and I have my beliefs and my children will also be given the option to believe what they feel is right for them but while they r children I like to have fun with them.

[*LittleMissSummer*]

I guess because i found out about Santa not being real very early but its never been about that for me. Its weird but christmas time there is just this smell in the air, maybe its the tree and the decorations that make that "smell" but its the only time of year that i get to sit down with my family and have a great day. We get so into it, i love making my family happy so we exchange presents and we laugh and joke then stuff our faces lol

So for christmas for my family will be the importance of family, we will have santa but he wont be the main person in it same goes for the easter bunny. the tooth fairy no i wont do that as i thought it was silly when i was a little girl.

[NaeNae]

I've never heard of any outraged children scarred for life because their parents 'lied' to them about Father Christmas

now you have!! I remember quite clearly the night I discovered the Easter Bunny wasn't real and I remember being so utterly devastated because Mum and Dad lied to us. We always asked them if they was real and they always said yes ....... I am not permanently scarred but the "magic" of Santa and the Easter bunny was gone and I knew my parents would lie to me. It was the worst feeling.

[MsKara]

Because my parents weren't very well off, Santa used to bring us our school supplies for the next year. I grew up thinking Santa really wanted me to go to school and learn lol.

DH and I aren't sure what we'll do yet with regards to Santa. I guess we'll see how it goes when DS is old enough to understand.

I'm athiest, but I want to bring DS up exposed to parts of many religions, so along with Christian holidays we'll discuss and acknowledge Jewish, Muslim, Hindu etc holidays as well.

[briggsy's girl]

See, as a Christian I'm teaching Liebling that the nativity story is real - and object to you saying it's "just a fable" and you're telling your children that. I do not teach my son the tales of other religions and call them fake: that is disrespectful.

i think this is always going to be a point of contention when you have people of differing religions/beliefs. to any that are not of a Christian based faith, the story of the Nativity is a story - they don't have any reason to have absolute faith that it happened. It's not about being offensive, it is about teaching their children their beliefs. I am Catholic, and will tell DD the story of Christ's birth - but i don't expect others to teach it as FACT when they don't believe it. And to be honest, i will teach it to her as the STORY of his birth - it is up to her to decide whether she believes it to be fact or not.

i guess i am someone that needs proof - and there isn't anything substantial to support so much of the Christian belief system - i reserve the right to question it - and i will allow DD the same right. and i wouldn't be upset with an atheist or non-Christian explaining the Christian faith in way that states it is what Christians believe, not that it is fact. if they don't believe it to be fact, why should they state that it is? it is the same way i couldn't say that what Muslims (for example) believe is fact - because i don't know that it is - and i won't pretend that i do. i think the label of story/fable is still very much respecting the beliefs of others. given every religion believes THEIR God is the one TRUE God, there is always going to be people that believe that you are wrong - provided there is still respect, there shouldn't really be a drama. in the same way that someone believes Christian beliefs are wrong, i'm sure (ok, i KNOW) that Christians believe the beliefs of other religions are wrong.



as for Santa - yes, he exists here. to what degree, i don't know. My brothers children were not allowed the opportunity to believe in Santa and the magic of Christmas because their mothers family are very strict Catholics and only recognised the religious aspect of Christmas for a long time. I have told my SIL, and their children, that they are not to ruin Christmas for our daughter. we may tell her the truth early, we may focus on Santa - i'm not going to make a firm decision now and hold myself to that forever because i just don't know for sure. i don't think believing is a bad thing. i don't think helping children embrace the magic of Christmas is bad. but in the same way i will encourage DD to question anything else, if she wishes to question Santa/Father Christmas, so be it. Whether she believes or not is not going to change how we celebrate. i LOVE the childhood excitement that comes with decorating the tree, scoping out the street lights, decorating the house (lots and lots) - making special cards and messages to remind people we care, and spending a special day with family. yes, we will do presents - but i guess that's part of us wanting DD to have certain things, and it's as good a day as any for us to give them to her...

[Cranky Kitten]

Have to say I agree with BG on the subject of teaching about other religions as myths - I want my DD to understand and respect that different people believe different things when it comes to God, and that it's ok that they do. But I'm not about to teach her that any one of them is fact when I personally don't believe that they are.

FWIW, I grew up in Christian household but now more strongly identify with pagan beliefs than anything else, whilst DD prefers Christianity. And in our house, that's completely ok. Quite different to the way I grew up, with my father informing me at about 8 years old that Santa was of the devil and I shouldn't believe in him whereas in Mum's house Santa continued until my younger sister was about 10, with us older kids being roped in to bite pieces out of carrots as "reindeer" and so on. I can tell you, I preferred Christmas at Mum's where it was fun and didn't involve 3 separate boring church services for the day

[nurseymum]

Have to say I agree with BG aswell. I think in a nutshell we have to respect and appreciate the differences that exist religiously/culturally within this fabulous country of ours, but on a personal level I see Santa as I see Cinderella and the tooth fairy: a wee bit of childhood fantasy and fun, in a world that will be all too serious and real for all our little people before we know it (or like it)...

[MummyNaomi]

I've never heard of any outraged children scarred for life because their parents 'lied' to them about Father Christmas

I stand corrected

[~ Mylitta ~]

I never tell Liebs a lie is real.)

I personally don't see it as a lie. For us, Santa IS real and he embodies the spirit of Christmas, and that spirit lives inside all of us. If you believe in Santa, he is real.

For whoever said "how embarrassing" for the teens that still believed in Santa, gosh, how embarrassed must I be?! :P

[onthefly]

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[briggsy's girl]

I personally don't see it as a lie. For us, Santa IS real and he embodies the spirit of Christmas, and that spirit lives inside all of us. If you believe in Santa, he is real.

For whoever said "how embarrassing" for the teens that still believed in Santa, gosh, how embarrassed must I be?! :P

i so agree with this
Santa/Father Christmas exists within the parents who create that magic for their children. When someone passes away, so many people say that they continue to live on in the heart and memories of those who cared - Saint Nicholas does too. He did what parents do - he secretly gave presents to those who, from memory, left shoes out for him to leave a coin in. He was made a Saint by Christians. yes, commercialism has taken over, and the meaning behind Saint Nicholas has been mostly lost - but he DID exist. He is not a lie. it is up to each individual how they interpret and teach that.


KL - we can be embarrassed together hun - i believe in the magic of Santa too!




FWIW - our place is a Christmas wonderland for WEEKS - we have traditional Christian (Nativity) decorations, including childrens books to read to DD. we have the typical commercial Santa decorations - and we have some Saint Nicholas inspired decorations. I want DD to be exposed to all of it and to make up her own mind! and even if she decides not to believe at some point, i'll still make Christmas magical - because that's what WE want to do!

[peanutter]

we're a no santa family. I am very black and white about truth, and I see santa, easter bunny, toothfairy etc as a lie. I don't see them as "harmful" but in my eyes, lies are lies, and I don't want to lie to J.

incidentally, we also don't have a christmas tree because it doesn't have any real value or meaning for DH and me personally - but when J is older, if he wants a tree, we will get one. we're not anti christmas trees, DH and I just don't see the need for them.

for us, and our focus is on Jesus' birth. for people that don't share those beliefs (and plenty of those that do!) we find the focus is on family and friends, and being with loved ones. I don't see the need for santa and trees and candycanes and singing snowmen ...

we however teach him about Saint Nicholas, and why he is held is esteem, and remembered by the "Santa Claus" rigmarole these days, and why that tradition has been passed on for so many generations and is important to many people.

I hear what some of you are saying about him being the embodiment of the christmas spirit and thereby not a lie, but I disagree. I'm not comfortable with it for me and my family, so we do not plan on having it.

he will get presents! But he will know they're from mummy and daddy.

we have several friends who view it the same way as us, we have more who disagree.

but it isn't something I've had any arguments about. I think there's good arguments both for and against, and it's something which is (in my opinion) easy to accept and understand the different points of view.

and I refuse to feel like the bad guy because I choose not to lie to my son by people who are pro-santa, and do not respect my decisions.

that is all

[courts&munchkins]

Definitely a Santa household here. I think make believe is important to a child's imagination development. Faeries don't exist either and yet me and my children still go on pixie and fairy hunts in the garden. I don't think it's lying to them, it's creating a little of beauty and magic in a world that is so full of chaos. Santa falls in the same realm as that. Right now my kids solely believe in santa and fairies an the rest, one day they will be old enough to determine the difference between what they think is real and make believe. I don't see that as lying to them. And then when they are old enough I will tell them the real story of st Nicholas and what it was before it was so commercialized. St Nicholas was a great man and when he died people started giving gifts in his name and that's where Santa clause came about. I'll teach them how the story of Santa clause is about the spirit of Christmas and how that is the true magic. But for now I'll let them believe.