We began with wanting four, and I'm thinking that three might be enough for us (M is convinced I'll change my mind... but I'm not so sure! We'll see!) In the end, the decision for us to limit our children was not financial, but emotional. We'll always be able to find the money somehow, but it comes down to being able to spend quality time with each one, and really having enough 'me' to go around for them, and for M, and for myself. I think possibly more than three would stretch that, but as I said, that isn't set in stone. I need to have time to be able to really enjoy my children, and I don't think I could do that if I had more than 4 - that's just me, though.

Also, I would like to work a little outside the work I do here at home. That may mean paid work from home, but more likely it will be going back to teaching, which I really enjoy. I'm a more balanced and happier person when I can get away and 'work' than when I spend all my time at home. Having more children means that puts the working off for just that few extra years, which would make me a bit sad.

So I guess it's not selfish to want a big family any more than it's selfish to want a smaller one. It's finding a way that works for you. There are always going to be people who think that having an only child is akin to a capital offence, and others who would curse you black and blue if you have more than two - you can't win!!