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thread: Things you never thought you would have to say as a parent

  1. #37
    Registered User

    Oct 2005
    North Queensland
    2,528

    This is hilarious!!!

    "Stop eating tissues!!!!"

    "Stop licking me!"

    Theres probably tonnes more but they dont come to me right now!


  2. #38
    Registered User

    Jun 2012
    South Australia
    1,097

    omg!!!! these have made my day soo much better!!!!! i'm literally cracking it at my desk, telling DF all the things we have to look forward too. thanks ladies

  3. #39
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Melbourne
    1,628

    No DD I am not pulling your teeth out just so the tooth fairy can come.

    Sorry DD, Jack the pumpkin King can not come to your birthday party.

    I am sorry that Baby Lula who lives in your belly ran away. I am sure the police man can't find her. No she isn't in jail.

    I am pretty sure DD that you won't be growing a penis when you grow up.

  4. #40
    Registered User

    Nov 2009
    Scottish expat living in Geelong
    5,572

    please stop watching West Side Story, I'm sick of it

  5. #41
    Registered User

    Jul 2006
    Melbourne
    4,895

    Thought of another one 'don't smell the cats bottom'

  6. #42

    Jul 2009
    Australia
    5,102

    Thought of another one 'don't smell the cats bottom'
    I have said that one before and "don't put stuff up Kittys bum!"

  7. #43
    Registered User

    Jan 2006
    8,369

    "Huzzah, there's a new Bob the Builder album out!"

    "Don't stop to look at the poo. It's probably not human poo. Well, dog owners usually take dog poo away. And cats often bury their poo. It might have been fox poo."

    We also converse in cat, I thought that was normal.

    "No, I will not lick your tongue."

    Also: "Makka pakka akka wakka mikka makka moo. Makka pakka appa yakka ippa akka oooh. Hum dum agga pang ing ang oooh. Makka pakka akka wakka mikka makka moo." With a straight face in a quiet monotone.

  8. #44

    Jul 2009
    Australia
    5,102

    Also: "Makka pakka akka wakka mikka makka moo. Makka pakka appa yakka ippa akka oooh. Hum dum agga pang ing ang oooh. Makka pakka akka wakka mikka makka moo." With a straight face in a quiet monotone.
    Definitely my favourite one so far!

  9. #45

    Nov 2007
    Earth
    4,434

    TFB, you are my HERO for learning those lyrics. Also, I think you've watched too much Night Garden

  10. #46
    Registered User

    Jan 2006
    8,369

    Worst thing is - haven't watched Night Garden for about three years. Makka Pakka was my favourite though.

  11. #47
    2013 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.

    May 2007
    Brisbane
    5,310

    Yes, "stop licking me" gets said a bit around here too.

    "No you cannot sit on my lap while I'm going to the toilet."

    "You're only allowed to sit on top of the lounge if you give me a head massage while your up there."

    "Why did you pour water all over my tummy? ... Uh, no, you're little sister doesn't drink through my belly button. NO not my vagina either!"

    I've also had to tell her off in the shower for trying to spread my bum cheeks and try and look at her little sister.

  12. #48
    Registered User

    Jul 2007
    melb
    8,498

    PMSL haha so so funny.

    Don't dip your rice crackers in melted chocolate (today at max brenners DS2)

    Don't pull your brothers penis

    Don't stand on your brothers penis (in bath)

    Don't eat poo

    Don't lick your fingers after going to toilet and not wash them!

  13. #49
    Registered User

    Oct 2006
    Melbourne
    1,798

    These are so funny!

    Got another one this afternoon: ' great idea to have your next birthday party at the north pole but it's too far away'. Followed by 'no I don't think qantas fly to the north pole'

  14. #50
    Registered User

    Mar 2006
    4,542

    Yes mate I can hear your poo hitting the water.......no I don't want to see it

    Stop weeing on your brother/sister

    No you can't have a pet crocodile.......I don't care if Bindy has one

  15. #51
    Registered User

    Jul 2005
    Sydney
    7,896

    Please take my undies off your head.

  16. #52
    Registered User

    Feb 2006
    NSW Central Coast
    5,301

    Stop standing in the toilet, your sister didn't flush it yet

    Don't touch anyone's penis but your own

    Stop touching your penis and it will go down

    I don't remember giving you and apple...how OLD is that apple, don't eat it! (We hadn't had apples for about 4 days and DS2 came up to me gnawing on half of one...!)

    Don't ever wee on your sister again!

    Don't sit in the mud with no undies on you will get dirt in your vagina


    Oh, I have SOOOO many more I can't think of right now!

  17. #53
    Registered User

    Jul 2008
    Balnarring, Vic
    1,900

    "You need to work hard at school to be able to do things when you are older."

    For some reason, DS reckons that when he gets to a set age he will just "know" things magically. Learning to read now makes no difference to being able to read as an adult. I'm starting to accept he isn't as clever as I wanted.
    I can never tell sarcasm on forums, but are you joking??

    These are great! I'm always having to say 'don't lick me' don't lick the car' just don't lick!

  18. #54
    Registered User

    Oct 2007
    Middle Victoria
    8,924

    No you can't take torchy in the shower, yes, I will give him a kiss so he is not too sad, ( dd has a torch ' torchy' that goes everywhere)

    Not to the kids, but because of them ' let's plant the placenta under the kaffir lime tree'

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