Great post, and quite brave really! I have three kids and they have all settled in different ways. DD1 would self settle and snooze anywhere. We never had to contemplate settling methods as she would just close her eyes when she was tired. She slept 12 hours from the night we brought her home. We co-slept for about three years. Our choice, we couldn't bear to be parted from her for a whole night!

DS would show tired signs and would settle into bed but would then have what we referred to as 'the last hurrah' where he would grizzle for 1-5 minutes before dozing off. He was never distressed, just making noise and would settle very quickly. He would not co-sleep and would only settle in his own space. He slept in a bassinet and then a cot.

DD2 does not self settle. She likes to be rocked to sleep, preferably with a boob in her mouth. I have left her to self settle and have tried a modified CC but she becomes truly distressed (as opposed to shouting a bit!). I have persevered with self settling beyond what I am comfortable with in the belief that she will 'learn' self settling. She doesn't, she just becomes more and more distressed. So, I cuddle her to sleep, usually with a boob, and she sleeps in our bed.

I think you are doing a great job by listening to your own babies cues and meeting your babies needs. Every baby is different and as mum's we have to meet their differing needs by using a variety of methods.