You know you're a parent when...

[Janie]

Bahaha, I have no idea either OP, don't worry!!! Thanks for this thread, it has really made me laugh. I loved all of your points, but sadly the one that really rang true for me was the joy in choosing their outfits. Or rather, lack of joy in choosing mine LOL. Not only does it have to not show any rolls or flabby bits, but it also has to hide the baby spew and variety of fingerprints that make it all over my clothes. Doesn't make dressing much fun! But I love dressing my boys up, and washing and ironing their little clothes

[Gigi]

i never understood, (before kids), why there were beautifully dressed and groomed kids, accompanied by mothers who looked like death warmed up, hair not even brushed, haphazardly dressed. now i do.

(someone put - when you enjoy choosing your child's outfit more than your own - i SO relate to that. i love dressing bilby, but for me, if it's clean, dry, won't get me arrested, vaguely goes together colour wise, gets thrown on. i have no idea or no desire to buy for me even if i could, even when i need to).

[Miss.September]

When you start referring to your partner in public as "daddy" even when there is no child around, and to other people.

[JLeigh29]

What a crack up!

...you can fill an entire load in the washing machine with bibs and cloths... after one day.

...your DH asks you how your day was and you routinely respond by telling him how many poos your cherub has done (and then go into detail about smell, consistency etc).

...your DH says suggestively, 'We have 1/2 hour free...' and you reply, 'Great, I can have a nap'.

[Nettie]

You take your recently fed, sleeping baby out to the car and upon putting them in their seat, realise you still have your boob hanging out.

I find myself singing and even dancing along to wiggles songs all the time...even when DS1 is not around

I find myself singing the 'just keep swimming' line from Finding Nemo in any variation it can be used...I remember doing it at work once...we were looking for something on a customers statement and I sang 'just keep looking, just keep looking', then once I'd realised I was doing it the customer says to me...you got children hey

you know when your kids are playing noisily everything is ok, it's when they go quiet you know you have to run

:yeahthat:

When you start referring to your partner in public as "daddy" even when there is no child around, and to other people.

All of the above??

How about - you automatically start blowing on hot food until you're dizzy and then you realise that it's for you and not DS... it doesn't need to be cooled!

You find all sorts of drawings on every piece of paper laying around the house. It actually just happened to me while I was trying to think of something!

[helle]

When you're trying to get dressed and your doing the waltz because you're trying to avoid a toddler clinging onto your pants.

[CrazyLady]

When you start referring to your partner in public as "daddy" even when there is no child around, and to other people.

HAHAHA! I did this the other day when DD was strapped in the car. No one could see her and a guy gave DP a horrible look. All they saw was a grey hair pony tail of DP

[tanyaya]

on the flip side, i constantly refer to myself in the third person, as mummy...

...even when DS isn't around

When you start referring to your partner in public as "daddy" even when there is no child around, and to other people.

[Nettie]

on the flip side, i constantly refer to myself in the third person, as mummy...

...even when DS isn't around

ROFL - I do that too!

[MummyNaomi]

...when normally you eat dinner at 530-6pm to suit you toddler and when you finally get an baby free night out to a lovely restaurant you are absolutely STARVING by your 7pm reservation time LOL

[*Ash*]

...You can't have a decent, uninterrupted phone conversation;
...You are shopping on your own and you hear a child cry in the next aisle and you get an immediate adrenalin surge, thinking that it is your own child crying and that you have to DO something. A split second later, you relax, realising that it isn't your problem;
...You eat mild curries, instead of the raging hot ones that you prefer.

[cindyb]

when you pick/wipe a kids nose with your bare hands..... only to realise its not even your kids nose..... but that doesnt really matter!
OR
When you see a kid vomit/ baby spit up and automatically put your hand out to catch it.

(I'm so grose!)

[Gigi]

when you pick/wipe a kids nose with your bare hands..... only to realise its not even your kids nose..... but that doesnt really matter!
OR
When you see a kid vomit/ baby spit up and automatically put your hand out to catch it.

(I'm so grose!)

um . . . no

i reach for a tissue, tea towel, bib, bucket, not my bare hand. Maybe i'm a mummy on L plates. or just a plain old wuss.

[~Lashes~]

*when you know what is being touched or moved just by sound from the next room, or even what room there trying to sneak into.
*when df askes a question or touches your arm, your auto-pilot responce is "i said in a minute" or "cant you see im doing something right now"
*when you look up and say "get out of the fridge/freezer/cuboard" but it is df. (ive even done this to fil at his house!)
*see a shadow moving only to realise after asking what it was doing, that the kids were all either asleep or out, and it was the dog

[CrazyLady]

when you pick/wipe a kids nose with your bare hands..... only to realise its not even your kids nose..... but that doesnt really matter!
OR
When you see a kid vomit/ baby spit up and automatically put your hand out to catch it.

(I'm so grose!)

um . . . no

i reach for a tissue, tea towel, bib, bucket, not my bare hand. Maybe i'm a mummy on L plates. or just a plain old wuss.

LOL! It has been my bare hand in the past Cindyb but it was either my hand that copped it or my laptop/handbag/dinner/other misc non-vomit proof object.

Gigi- I'd prefer it wasn't my bare hand at the time but sometimes you have to compromise. When DD had reflux I did one day whip the front of my T-shirt up while we were out to catch it. I did that so she didn't vomit over the produce display I was perusing at the time in Woolies though. I sacraficed my T-shirt for capsicum or tomatoes. One of the red ones.....

[Cranky Kitten]

Heheheheh, these are awesome

How about:

- when you haven't been to the cinema to see anything rated above a PG for the last 2 years - and don't care because kids movies are fun

- when you hear the loo door close and automatically ask "did you flush?" or "have you washed your hands" without looking up only to realise that it was DH not your child

- when you turn on your laptop only to realise that DD has changed the wallpaper to a picture of Justin Beiber on a lurid pink background *shudder*

- you walk out of JB hifi with more kids dvds than anything else

[OceanPrincess]

...when normally you eat dinner at 530-6pm to suit you toddler and when you finally get an baby free night out to a lovely restaurant you are absolutely STARVING by your 7pm reservation time LOL

Happened to me and DH just the other night!!!!

And I too have caught the spew... But not to protect any produce!!

I thought of another one...

- When you go away for a kid-free weekend and spend the whole time talking about your kids with the other couple who are also child-free for the weekend, calling your DW to check on the kids, driving round the town you're in to scope out parks for next time when the kids come too, calling DW to check on the kids, finding better accommodation that is more kid-friendly and calling DW to check on the kids. Yep, happened to DH recently!!

- When you drop the kids off at the IL's so you can go to the movies and seriously contemplate going back home and sleeping for three hours instead!

[CrazyLady]

Oh to be able to sleep for 3 hours without kids in the house!