BEWARE - sleep advice from the 'experts' MAY BE DISTRESSING

[babymiracles]

Hun Torrens House is a sleep school.

One of the lovely ladies on here took her DD to sleep school before she was 2, and they tried to make her wean and all sorts of other things against the WHO code. It is disgusting what these places do. They should be encouraging mothers, not telling they are doing everything wrong.

Just wanted to say I actually went to Torrens house when DD was 10 weeks - they do not do crying it out at all and were actually fantastic for the feeding problems I was having with DD and they were incredibly supportive. I imagine some sleep schools are better than others

[babymiracles]

Ginger - have edited my first post and put a warning on it - do you think this will suffice?

[Ginger]

Ginger - have edited my first post and put a warning on it - do you think this will suffice?

yes thank you for doing that hun

[Sterla]

That is too awful for words. That poor baby! I can't believe that any 'professional' would advise a parent to do that! Neglect is a form of abuse - I'd say leaving a baby all alone crying and screaming for 7 hours constitutes as neglect!

I wish all parents were aware that they don't have to CIO or use CC! It makes me so sad to think of all those babies out there left alone in the dark in their cots with no one to cuddle them .

[farmgirl77]

I feel really sorry for all the parents (and of course the babies) in the three examples, but especially in number 3.

I have been asked by a maternal health nurse why I did not follow my intuition about my DS when we were having issues, and it was for the simple reason that I was sooo tired, so stressed and distressed and was very much doubting my ability to be a mum and to do the 'right thing' as everything I tried was in my eyes 'failing' - an opinion which was reinforced by 'experts' every time they suggested I tried something else. So when given 'expert' advice (in my case that my DS did not have ezcema, when he did), I followed it as I had not self confidence in my ability to make rational or good decisions when it came to my baby. So I guess I look at it from that situation and think that if the couple in point three were at the same point that I was, they might have followed the advice because they had no confidence in their ability to make good decisions. In society in general we reinforce this all the time - we often seek out, and are encouraged to seek out, 'experts' to tell us what to do. The really sad thing is, that this experience could have just reinforced the parents belief that they were not doing a good job eg 'OMG we did not even know that something was wrong, or if we suspected, we did nothing' - so now it is possible that these parents dont trust their own intuition BUT now also have no trust in experts - where can they turn to if they need help?? I really hope that this is not the case, but I guess it is just another perspective.

So yep, I can sit back and say that they should have gone in and checked on the baby, but I can also identify with why they did not. Big hugs to them and I really hope that they are doing ok, because they will live with, and cry over, the image of how they found their little baby for a long long time.

FG

[CrazyLady]

Farmgirl I agree. It's one thing to criticise the parents but if thier baby isn't sleeping great them most likely sleep deprivation plays a large part in assessing the situation. It does mess up your judgement! They should have been able to trust the "expert" but instead the expert pointed them in the wrong direction. I really feel for them!