Kelly - My DD is very outgoing "look at me" kinda kid and I am afraid that she will seek approval from others instead of being happy with her own choices etc.

Lulu - I like the idea of a routine chart.

MrsS - Thanks for your sharing your experience. I wouldn't want to promote an expectation of giving prizes for good behaviour. My SIL has done this and her 7yo will not do a thing without a trade off. I like the idea of rewarding your child with time and attention.

For me it is so hard to find the right way to motivate my daughter. Things I need help with are getting her to pick up after herself, stop grabbing stuff out of her sisters hands, explaining her feelings instead of sitting in the corner weeping (she does this whenever things are not going her way) or she'll make up that she is hurt.