The way i see CIO or CC is that it happens when people have no real support at home, that every thing is left up to mum and when she cannot get anything done due to her lack of sleep all those well meaning "helpers" (who actually arent offering arms or hands hor help) say just CIO its ok.. but it isnt ok what mother who has actually done it has thought it was right while doing it? but because this is the "helpful" advice being given mums give it a try.

I also wonder if parents are scared now to ask for outside help when they are struggling, for fear of looking like they can not handle having a baby when Most people find the change of a baby hard.
I think you might be onto something there! It is so true (and only common sense) that sometimes, when a mother (especially one with older children to tend to as well) is so busy, she sometimes can't avoid letting her baby cry, whether it be for a mere minute, or longer.

I know when DS2 came along, DS1 was very demanding (and still is) and sometimes poor little DS2 just had to wait for mummy because she was all tied up with DS1 who was also trying to adjust to having a new bub in the house. Its not that I put him down in the cot and said "stuff him,he can cry!" its just that sometimes i really had no choice because there was only one of me and DH works long hours and I am really the only "hands on" parent in this house (no disrespect to DH, its just he feels less confident with the kids than I do, and he works long hours and doesn't really have a choice).

So I really do agree that sometimes parents who have let their children CIO are not doing so intentionally, its just how it has to be sometimes.....