Reply With QuoteGood to hear you got a sleep in
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This is what earplugs were invented for
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Good to hear you got a sleep in
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Oh wow.... I'm reliving a lot of things right now... except that my DH was on board a lot more. My DD1 for the first 6 months woke many many times over night. We went to sleep school at one point because I was going insane. What sleep school taught me was that she didn't fit the "routines" that was designed to help mums understand their babies sleep. My DD hated co-sleeping, she hated being put down as well, she only slept when I was walking with her or rocking her or physically moving with her for longer than 40 minutes until she was 6 months. At sleep school we discovered that she was like this, it wasn't missing her cues, or doing something wrong, it was the way she was made. She did have reflux, silent reflux. Does your bubs swallow a lot while screaming? gag sometimes? DD1 is allergic to cows milk proteins and it wasn't until she actually went off cows milk (at 3 years old!!) that she started sleeping through more. She was still waking up twice at night at 3 years old. My baby was sleeping more than she was. Slings helped tremendously, I would put her in the sling and sit in the rocking chair and dose....
However, I had a VERY understanding husband as well. He hired a housekeeper for the first year. He was amazing, every night when he came home he would take her for a walk and let me have 30 minutes to myself. Without the screaming.
DD1 has other issues as well as her food allergies, but with a baby its hard to know what is going on with them.
2014 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.
Christy - Yes, he does swallow a lot and gag when he's screaming his head off. I figured it was the silent reflux as well. He's on medication for it, but I'm wondering when they're supposed to up the dose?? He's at least a full kilo heavier than he was when it was first prescribed, so surely he needs a higher dose now? I might need to speak to my GP about that. I know I'm not missing the tired signs either. As soon as he yawns once, or rubs his eyes, I lie him down and try to rock him to sleep. Sometimes it works, other times it doesn't. But he ALWAYS wakes when I try to put him in his bed. Always. So I've resorted to holding him for his 2hr naps during the day. IF he'll even have one. Sadly, I think it's just the way he was made too. DP keeps suggesting a sleep school but I feel like I've tried all the routines already. What are they going to teach me except to let him CIO? I can't do that.... he gets too screamy to be left for more than a few minutes. He'll bloody choke himself to death.
DP says he understands, and he says I'm amazing for doing what I'm doing (sometimes, ha) but then his actions don't match that. He'll carry on like a single dude when the mood strikes him........ and he doesn't get that I can NEVER walk away from my responsibility, but it's ok for him to? It's tiring.
Just yesterday he dragged us all out of the house (ok I wanted to go) all day long to visit a friend. He knew I hadn't had breakfast yet, and when I complained I was hungry and that we needed to go as DS only had one nappy left in his bag, he seemed annoyed. I pointed out that it's not ok to drag me here and there, and not give me an opportunity to eat something! I spent hours holding DS while he fiddled around with a stereo system trying to get it working. It was no fun for me, stuck holding a crying baby all day while he enjoyed himself. It was 4pm when we got home and I still hadn't eaten. I finally got something at about 7pm. Just because HE can go all day without eating, he seems to forget that I'm already exhausted, and if I'm not getting energy from sleep, then I need food all the more for fuel. I made sure he's well and truly aware of the fact that I'm a person who needs to frigging eat. I'm not just a baby making, baby cuddling machine.
It's a bit ridiculous that I need to remind him I need to eat. Over it!
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Just a quick one ad I'm on my phone but definitely speak to the GP (Paed would be better actually) about upping your DS's dose.
Another thing, my DD didn't sleep well for day sleeps until she was 6 months old. I wore her in a sling for most of her day sleeps as it was the only thing that seemed to work. At least she slept though and I could relax with a cuppa and a book, watch TV or hit the shops. It forced me to have a bit of me time which, with a reflux baby, is very important
I continued trying DD in her cot for day sleeps all those months but learnt not to fight it if it didn't work and to just wear her. One day, magically, I put her down and she slept for 3 hours. We never looked back from that dayThings can and usually do improve.
On sleep school, we tried it twice and both times we were sent home early as they could not get DD to sleep. Both times they'd claimed to have our 'sling habit' broken by the end of the day and both times, the sleep specialists caved and told me tousling her up as she was clearly desperate for sleepSo for me, sleep school was a massive fail but I did learn some handy tips for down the track.
Hope some of that helps.
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I forgot to add, try a different sling. Not all babies fit the one sling mold and many change their little priorities as the grow bigger
My DD loved her Bubba Moe but hated the Baby Bjorn. We wore DD in the Moe in a cradle/heart position (cradled against our chest with her head next to our hearts) so she slept beautifully in it. Sure, I couldn't do as much as I could have with a HAB or the Bjorn but I could still get a few chores done and relax a bit. After a decent nap in the sling, DD was SO much happier (and so was I!!) so I could often put her down for a play for a bit while I tackled some chores that were too hard to do with her in the sling.
Around 1 year, DD opted for the Ergo and we'd use that in airports and on flights to help her sleep.
Housework shouldn't be a priority at all when you have a LO. My DH was super supportive of this notion, thankfully, and even organised a cleaner so it was one less thing I had to worry about. Love him to bits for that! Smart man too - happy baby = happy wife = happy life!!
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My heart breaks for you because you are having such a hard time of things. I highly recommend going to sleep school or getting someone in to help you at home to try and sort out some kind of plan to manage things so you don't feel so demanded upon! You don't have anything to lose! You might learn some tips or tricks you weren't aware of! (((hugs))) to you for doing such an awesome job!!
2014 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.
We can't afford to hire a cleaner or anything like that to take some of the load off me, unfortunately. So I'm just battling on through it.
Update - I've decided NOT to write everything down, and document just how crap things are. (as per the book says) It's easier if I can pretend like he hasn't woken up constantly all night. Small victory though, he starts the night off in his cot now. But still that 4-7am stretch is terrible. I am NOT getting up at 4am, child! Then again, that might be easier than banging my head against a wall trying to get some sleep.
Ah well, I'm still surviving so that's the main thing.
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Forshelby, my DS is exactly the same! He will start the night ok but come 4am he is so restless and wakes every 20 mins or so, I definitely feel your pain! I don't have any magical solutions but sometimes it helps to know there's someone out there going through the same thing
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Forshelby, your baby is at a typical age where problems start to present themselves. Does he sleep well thru the day? if you can afford it having a sleep consultant come see you at home would b a big benefit. Ask your MCHN if she knows of anyone who works in the area. It is such a difficult thing to deal with by yourself but you must believe that it is nothing that you are/aren't doing..... It just happens!
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I took the clock out of the bedroom for the same reason, things seemed better when I didn't know how short it had been since the last wake up... It is really hard, my DD was still waking up 4-5 times even past 2 (was some unmentionable number before 1yr of age lol) but finally, now, at 2 and a half she sleeps through every few nights and only wakes once on the nights she doesn't... I hope things don't continue that long for you but just wanted you to know that eventually they do sleep... eventually...
2014 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.
Thanks, ladies. It does help knowing I'm not the only one going through this. TBH, DS has had problems since day one. First, was the BF difficulties, plus his clubfoot treatment (which we're still doing physio for, and will for years), Then the colic. Then reflux. Then he got a cold. Then teething started. And the entire time, he's been a crap sleeper. It's always something. Thankfully, he hasn't had any serious problems, though.
Does anyone have any ideas to make those early hours of the morning easier to cope with? What do you do to stay sane?
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I tell myself its not going to last forever... and gee aren't they cute
And it doesn't last forever. Sure, none of my children sleep through the night yet (not even the 4.5 year old) but I'm kinda hoping he will start sleeping through next year when he is at school. So thats only 5 years of sleepless nights. Not bad uh? lol
And all joking aside (cos its either laugh or cry about my kids problems with sleep!), I do know where you are coming from, I've had my share of reflux babies - 4 now!! LOL
Its not nice, its frustrating, time consuming, exhausting, tiring - but there is an end to it.
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