Marcellus has it right... you want to communicate to your kids in a way in which they'll grow up and still want to communicate with you because you are fair. Everyone has needs - this method ensures everyones needs are met, and helps you separate needs from values and deal with them accordingly.

As per the above post, there are three methods of parenting and the first two are mostly used:

Method 1. Authoritarian, where the parent is in control
Method 2. Permissive, where the parenting is more passive and child ends up getting what they want
Method 3. (sorry forgot the name was up very late, will check back) But basically it's where both parent and child have their needs met.

In those first two scenarios both parent and child end up with bad feelings. Guilt, powerlessness, dominance - loads of negative feelings. And the kids grow up with these issues - the kid who gets their way - perhaps may turn into a selfish/bully kind of person. The child who has a parent who is authoritarian will break out eventually and rebel. But where you both have an outcome you're happy with, it breeds respect, life skills (negotiation), achievement, satisfaction - because both parties are satisfied with a mutally agreed outcome where no-one gives in and no-one overpowers the other.

Active listening in itself has been a huge thing for me especially for my daughter who isn't very forthcoming with her feelings, she's really coming out with problems totally unrelated to what I thought they were.

PET teaches you to find out the root problem and aid the child to resolve it themselves - who owns the problem? They do so they need skills in working out solutions. You can't fix their problems for them, they need to grow up and learn how to do this... so you guide them in the process, without punishment, rewards (breeds dependence on the parent) and it does work!

By using method 3 of PET, you breed a strong relationship with your child, as well as strong communication. Methods 1 & 2 breed resent and can erode parent/child relationships.

Think about it, how do you feel when you've completely dominated your child over a situation - you felt really crappy for having to do it, so does your child. When they have dominated you, you feel like a failure, crappy too, confidence drops.... but you feel great after you've both found a solution that works for both of you.

Hope this makes sense. Tired! lol.