mrsmac - would he go to a PET workshop? Then he can not only see how his style of parenting is ineffective and harful, but he can get tools for a better way. If he's not careful the kids will grow up and the effects will be seen more clearly. If he wont go, if you could get the book and try things yourself maybe he might pick up on some of it and see how they react, but on the other hand what he's doing may be a reflection on that similar style being inflicted upon him as a kid. Might be a good discussion you can have with him, what it was like growing up for him and how it made him feel. You guys really need to be on the same side and parent the same way for things to work though