*blink* Who would allow what? Getting on with ordinary day to day life even with a newborn? Unfortunately for a lot of mothers, life doesn't just stop because you've had another baby. Older kids still need to be taken to school and other activities, groceries need to be bought etc, and not all partners have the luxury of taking time off work to take over (for example my DH is a contractor, doesn't work doesn't get paid).

I think unless there is a definite risk or issue involving your DS, the dynamics of who does what in their household and what your ex's new partner is happy doing is really none of your business. I know by week 3 for me with DS I was climbing the walls to get a bit of normalcy back and just get on with it - she may well be the same.