DD1 has decided that nothing I say matters. Up until recently, she has been a grumpy, moody 4 year old. About three weeks ago, she changed to the gorgeous girl we know well - polite, kind, happy. Except now she doesn't listen to anything I ask.

Yesterday, she was quiet in her room. She often goes in there to get away from her little sister. She usually plays dress ups, or makes cups if tea with her dolls. Y'know. Typical 4yo girly girl. I went in to check and she had paint out and had managed to open about four different containers of glitter. It was everywhere. Thankfully, she had not managed to get the lids off the paint.

She has a craft table set up all the time downstairs in the dining room. It's on tiles. She knows that she can do any craft activity she likes, whenever she wants as long as she does it downstairs. We have explained that she can't do it in her room because there is carpet (plus she has a tendency to draw on her toys in her room). So yesterday she got in trouble and she told us that she knew it was wrong, she won't do it again and will try harder tomorrow. Her response is so polite, calm and genuine.

Today, I've just found her again in her room, pulling out more crafty stuff and again, all over the floor, all over her.

While I know the obvious answer is to remove all offending material from anywhere she can get to it, in this house , it just isn't possible. We live in mum's house which is full to the brim of mum's stuff and other than the wardrobe in DD1's room and the wardrobe in our room, I have nowhere else to keep things away from little fingers. And she gets into the wardrobes.

Yesterday, over the course of the entire day, she was asked to do four things. Make her bed. Tidy her room. Pick up her shoes from the lounge room and put them in her room. Remove the toys from the lounge room and put them in her room. She did nothing. And again, her response is that she knows she didn't do it, no she doesn't find it hard and she'll try again tomorrow.

The other thing she continually does is go outside without me knowing. She unlocks the door. We live on a rural property with cattle fencing, there is a pond and a dam and there are snakes. And it doesn't matter how I try to explain to her why she can't go outside without me knowing, she just does it anyway. We've tried everything from talking to her about why she needs to tell us, to yelling at her, to being blunt about what happens when a child gets bitten by a snake/drowns. Nothing gets through. And she doesn't do anything while she's out there, just stands out on the porch, so to me it's more about contesting what we've asked and less about wanting to go outside (they get lots of outside time).

I know she has no problem understanding me. She follows instructions to the T when she wants to. She does as she's told/asked at kinder and at her music lessons.

I don't know what to do and how to get through to her. At the moment, she's sitting on the couch and I've told her that she isn't allowed to do anything until dad gets home (he's on his way). She is to think about what it means to listen to me and do what I've asked her to do. I've never gone this approach before, so we'll see what happens.

Anyone got any advice, tips, anything for me? Someone tell me she'll grow out of this tomorrow

I should add that it's just me she's like this with. And I'm her main carer.