Thing 2 - I don't know how you ladies who can't let your kids roam in the backyard do it! Seriously, it's a major sanity-saver for them to get outside. Could you increase the number of outings to parks/open play areas where DD could ramble, ride her bike/scooter/play in the dirt/sand? That's a really nice balance between scheduled activities & unstructured free play. If she can run off her energy an extra few times a week, you get the variety of going somewhere different, and she might be more compliant at home.
Hope this helps
How much time? At home we have a cubby, swings, trampoline, sandpit and plastic climb slide thing. At the moment the sandpit has no sand - she wasn't showing any interest in it and it was a lovely haven for the rabbits We go outside every day, weather permitting. Minimum time is an hour but now the weather is better, it's usually most of the afternoon (around her other activities). Some nights it's after dinner too, just an end of the day play and run around with our dogs. On top of that, there is a playground beside one of her activities and she gets to play there before her class starts. Probably half hour to an hour. Then two days at kinder with outdoor play there too. She has both a bike and a scooter which she doesn't have any interest in. She either runs around pretending she's the Little Mermaid or she picks and scatters flowers.

I give her choices about things and ask her what she wants to do. Sometimes she answers. When she doesn't answer and I make the decision, it's always wrong. When I raise the question again, she still can't answer. She can choose her clothes, lunch, daily activities, all of it. But she usually doesn't. I even ask her if she would like me to get her anything from the supermarket lol.

Today, we sat down together and built a miniature dolls house that she can store her hair clips in. I glued it all together and she painted it. It's taken all morning and she enjoyed every minute of it. We took it to her room and put her hair clips in it. Lovely morning. Within five minutes of finishing, she was carrying on again. Pushed around her sister, made her cry, told me I was lazy and just grumbled.

I know, I know. Normal.

I'm just so tired!