My first baby shower didn't happen... Second time lucky?

[mrsmac]

This is a tricky one.
Firstly I think 33 weeks is quite a good time to have it.
Your second question is harder! I really don't know how to word it, TBH I had a baby shower for DS and there wasn't mention of his sisters on the invite, I know they are here but I guess what I am trying to say is that you wouldn't acknowledge Ianto on the invite if things had turned out differently. On the other hand i do understand that you want to acknowledge him and the fact that Cookie is not your first baby.
OK so really I haven't helped you at all sorry and I hope to goodness I haven't offended you either.
If I think of something I'll be back.

[TeniBear]

No offence taken whatsoever, lovely ladies You haven't said anything I didn't already have swirling around my mind anyway

Maybe rather than acknowledge Ianto in the actual invitation, I could ask that people donate to Bonnie Babes or something in lieu of gifts? Some people will most likely still bring gifts (maybe even the ones they originally bought for Ianto) but it's probably better than ending up with a house full of stuff I won't use... Then again, I would like to receive some gifts I actually would use... Maybe I'll say "any gifts given that won't be used will be sold on eBay so the money wasted can be given to charity"

[aussienic]

I think suggesting a donation to bonnie babes is a great idea.. That way you are kinda mentioning Ianto.

Or even with the invites send out a little brochure from Bonnie Babies and don't worry about suggesting a donation.. kwim?

[TeniBear]

Okay, here's the "dry" wording, I'd like a way to make it a little more fun...

The babe dubbed Cookie is on the way, so please join us in celebrating his or her imminent arrival with a day full of fun, laughter, happiness and rainbows!
Tenielle’s baby shower will be held on the 29th of January at [address].
Please arrive by 12:30 pm so you don’t miss the start of the fun, and RSVP by the 8th of January so we make sure there’s enough fun to go around!
It would be appreciated if guests could bring a plate of food and/or drinks to share.
Each guest should also bring an apron and wear casual clothes, as there are a couple of activities planned that may become messy.

[luna moth]

Nobody is ever going to think you have forgotten Ianto. From never having met you, and only having peeked at your blog, it is abundantly clear to even this doe-eyed bimbo that you will not ever live a day without rmembering him. So don't worry about that.

It does not matter a skerrick what your aunties think of you. If their opinions are anything less than glowing, they're not worth worrying about anyway.

mrsmac makes an awesome point - if Ianto were earthside, you probably wouldn't mention him on the invite. Baby shower invites are hard enough to word without putting siblings in! On the plus side, you have ooooodles of time to think about it and get it right.

[Laney]

I think it would okay to mention Ianto on the invites if it is something that is important to you. I have been thinking about how to word it and I am coming up blank. You could always add a little poem to the invite that reminds you of your angel.

sorry that I couldn't be more help. I couldn't even think about the idea of a shower for Grayson until after he was earthside.

[Beautiful Disaster]

Teni mine is 30th January. Ask Marlene (in our belly buddy group) to help you out she does this for a living.

I will have people from Interstate here for the wedding so im doing it while they are here so they DONT HAVE TO COME BACK. Yes once will be enough then i dont have to stress about them visiting again lol

[dabradys]

Teni i think that if its important to you u should put Ianto on the invite you could always put something like inviting people to Ianto's baby brother or sister shower.

just an idea probaly doesn't help that much.

[Lana]

Hope you don't mind me responding as I haven't been through what you are going through but I have been thinking about you all day! So I hope what I am going to suggest isn't inappropriate but I thought I would just put it out there as I do know what it feels like when you lose someone and you want them included in big events.

I was wondering whether rather than having a baby shower with all your female relatives (seeing you are not that keen on them) if you made it a couples event so your DH could be there and have a celebration of Cookie in that way with people you enjoy hanging out with. Then if things do get awkward with relatives saying inappropriate/stupid things at least you have each others support to get through it. After the year you have had you both deserve to be celebrated.

Then on the invitation you could write something like "We invite you to celebrate us becoming a family of 4". And in that way Ianto is included in the invite.

Again hope this is ok.

[toomanyshoes]

I have no idea's for the wording but I honestly think you should say/include whatever you feel comfortable with, it's your day and you can celebrate how ever you want and what is going to make you happiest.

[Babyluv]

Hi Teni,

Why not keep the invite fairly simple, ours read "A baby girl is on the way, so let's celebrate before the big day". It is a celebration of your bub, and that in no way is forgetting about Ianto, I think keep the invite simple and do something special on the day to celebrate Ianto too. What about maybe having a wishing well at your shower with some info about Bonnie babes and a personal note about Ianto with all donations going to them etc. That way ppl can still bring gifts for cookie, you've included your little man Ianto in the day and ppl can donate to Bonnie babes as well. You could even say a little something about your special boy and his new baby brother or sister on the day if you like.
Do whatever is going to make you happy hun, that's what's important!!!!

[skybie]

i agree with babyluv, to ME a baby shower is about celebrating the baby you're soon to bring into the world. and usually siblings arent mentioned in the invitation.
I do like ur idea of donations to bonnie babes in luei of gifts, its an indirect way of bringing Ianto's memory into the celebration.