Pregnancy after Late Loss, Recurrent Miscarriage or Stillbirth ~ November 2010
Welcome to Pregnancy After Recurrent Miscarriage/StillBirth/Late Loss.
This is an exciting time but also one that can be filled with anxiety and concern. The aim of this forum is to provide women who have suffered from recurrent miscarriage, still birth or a late pregnancy loss a place to meet and share experiences. Many women in this forum will be on medication which brings in itself many questions and areas where support is needed.
We wish you a happy healthy pregnancy and look forward to sharing and supporting each other through this time... The journey is often really challenging but the prize in the end is worth all of the hardship...
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Laney ----- OMG! I just saw your ticker.... I am soooooooooooooo excited. I have been in my own bubble and not on bb, like you, but cause we had visitors. As you already know, the fear never goes... but not much longer of having to endure it before you are holding buuba in your arms. I want to thank you for helping me through my pregnancy with Haannah. It was tough for me and you always had a kind word or words of advice for me. Helped me through no end, so thankyou.
Hope you feel better soon.
All good here....H smiles a lot now and not always randomly... even contextually... so cute.
Beata - hello! I agree. But my own family don't ever really mention Amelia, Nicholas or Sophie either. I do, but it doesn't seem to catch on. I think people assume because you have an eathside bubba that the angels are no longer as important. For me they are moer so.
Hi Ladies! I had my appt and ultrasound today. They are estimating bub weighs a massive 9+ pounds already. Weird because Grayson was only 7 pounds 7ounces a nice average size. It looks like he is going to stay snug until my c-section next week. I was really wanting the doctor to tell me that I had to go up to the hospital today no such luck.
Also! I think that I had mentioned my dh's cousin had her baby a while back when she was 26 weeks pregnant. He is almost ready to come home from the hospital! He had a lot of ups and downs but is doing really well now. He just has to learn to feed a little bit better. He gets really tired out after a bottle.
dory, I am glad that I was able to help you through the roller coaster ride even a little bit. I wish that I could tell you that it will be easier on you next time....but nothing can take that fear away. I really wanted to enjoy being pregnant this time around because it might be my last....there is just no way to get the innocence back.
Laney - seems the stitch sisters are growing big babies in 2010 ! Hannah weighed 10 pounds exactly! Good luck next week... what date is your c section? I agree, never can get the innocence back... seems we just have to muddle through.
Aargh don't say that Dory!! Kaitlyn was only 6lb3 - would be a bit of a shock if this next one was massively bigger
You certainly grew a nice big bub. My niece was the same size at birth as Hannah and poor SIL laboured for hours and hours until they realised it just wasn't going to happen naturally and she ended up with an emergency c/s. Turns out bubs head was facing the wrong way so SIL never got more than 5cm dilated and the poor little girl was born all swollen with the marks around her head where she had been wedged
SIL is now pg again with number 2 and hoping for a VBAC this time so fingers crossed this bub isn't much bigger!
Laney - yay for a great scan! 7 days to go now?? Yippee!!
I have my u/s tomorrow morning...hoping sooo much that all this lying around has achieved something good. This time last pg with DD I was in the hospital so we are already a step ahead but that could all change tomorrow. I was 3.3cm last week so keep your fingers crossed for me girls that any shortening is minor. I think as long as I stay above 2.5cm my ob will let me stay home so I will let you know how I go.
Wow. Thirty one weeks and three days today... At this gestation with Ianto, we didn't realise we were four days off the worst time of our lives. This was probably about the last point I felt him kick
I think I'm going to need some hands to hold over the next few days...
And again, sorry for never doing persies in here I do read along when I can!
Teni - such a tough time for you right now, so scared for Cookie remembering your pregnancy with Ianto....but have faith sweetie that your little Cookie will make it through, and if you can't then I will for you.... BIG HUG.
Hope you're ok with the flooding in Vic ( I have no idea where Lalor is.. )
Teni, I remember literally holding my breath till the 21 week mark as that's when I said goodbye to Josh, but as soon as that was over I felt soooooo much better and I was heaps more relaxed. Hoping it will be the same for you hun. Will have you and your precious Ianto in my thoughts in the coming days. Big hugs hun and YOU AND COOKIE CAN DO IT!!!!!!!
Haven't been on much lately, trying to get my GD under control at the moment. So far breakfast is sorted out, dinner is half way there and we're now working on lunch time, but any time it's hot or muggy my blood glucose levels go through the roof, so it's a big balancing act.
I had a small meltdown last night on my blog - made the mistake of watching a video I made with Ianto's photos and started thinking how much I wish I could touch his skin again
Sent from my iPhone so forgive the speelung misstacks
jo, Brexton is the best sleeper! I am so spoiled. He sleeps 9-10 hours everynight and hasn't been up in the middle of the night since week 4! He doesn't sleep/nap much during the day but it is a small price to pay.
Grayson did very well with the OT. They just play with interesting new toys and food items. I was a bit worried because he didn't take a nap. He is now classified with sensory processing disorder. It is a bit scary but I know that it is just a small delay and that he will grow out of this at some point. He just hates to touch or eat anything new. We start a play group on Friday and I am going to get him into another therapy group. Right now he only has therapy for an hour each week. A lot to deal with all at once but we are making the best of it. Thanks for asking
Do you have a room ready for bub yet? It sounded like you were putting it off.
Teni, it is good to look at photos and have a melt down once and a while.
Last edited by Laney; February 3rd, 2011 at 01:26 AM.
Jo - wow - a month to go.... that is so exciting. I stayed around for observations for half a day after my stitch removal.... I was sad that there was no action. You were VERY efficient with DD - though probably didn't feel like it for you at the time. Glad you're uncomfortable as it means everything is as it should be.
Laney - Glad Grayson was ok at the OT - it is a lot to deal with but you'll get there.. you're a super mum after all. Is Brexton 11 weeks old already? H is almost half a pregnancy old... LOL.
Teni - a meltdown is one of the ways to stay in touch with Ianto ..... hugs. Be strong like Tegam was - she refused an induction and it was all good.
Hi Everyone,
I hope you don't mind me joining you in here . I've ummed and aahed about when is the ideal time and since I'm 14 weeks along, feel ready. Also I'd love to hear how you felt in the early pregnancies, emotionally. I've been up and down heaps and today was a really rough day. I felt so anxious and like I was never going to cope with another baby. I have a gorgeous 2.5 year old son and we lost our first son at 19.5 weeks pregnant and have had two miscarriages since TTC this baby. I know it's normal to be scared and feel overwhelmed but I'm also petrified of depression (not sure why, just have always been scared about it). I started suffering occasional anxiety after losing our first baby and have had it on and off for 4 years. I feel so blessed to be pregnant and love my little bun to bits, but on days like today, the mere thought of going through the stress of pregnancy and early parenting just felt way too much :-(
Well that's a bit about me and I'm looking forward to getting to know you guys. I recognise some "faces" and hope you don't mind having me. I promise, I'm not always doom and gloom :-)
Powelly - welcome! Congratulations too on your glorious BFP and pregnancy. And hugs for having such a rough day
How brave of you to join this thread... I know it takes a lot of courage, or at least it did for me, to join a pregnancy thread ( and now they can't get me to leave...lol). Next step my sweet is a ticker... it took me til 18 weeks to get up the courage to do one and honestly I wish I'd done it sooner.... in some many other ways I celebrated the pregnacy with Hannah, but then in some crucial ways where I needed to demonstrate it to others I couldn't? I suppose we all do what we need to in order to get through. I would put my hand on my tum every day, usually lots of times throughout the day, inhale, close my eyes, and just revel in the joy that right now right at this very minute, I am pregnant and growing a new life within me. It really helped calm me down and connect with the baby that is now Hannah. But then it took me ages to join a pregnancy thread, to get a ticker, to set up a nursery, to actually beleive that I would get to bring Hannah home.
First of all, you will cope with early parenting. Yes it can be challenging, but you've done it already and you can do it again. It will be different to parenting DS, but your new bubs is their own person, who has two big brothers. But you will cope and you will be an awesome mum. So put that worry aside for now....
Second of all - even though I can't say from my own experience ( yet...) I expect that after actually having the wonder of parenting an earthside bubba that a pregnancy following loss is even more arduous both emotionally and physically, than one after loss. How do I express this without sounding insensitive? A loss of any baby is completely devastating, but once you've had an earthside bubba, there's more understanding of the realities of what is lost? For me, now that I get to parent Hannah, I more keenly miss the opportunities I could have had with Amelia, Nicholas and Sophie, more than I did before Hannah. Before it was more me just imagining what the realities of parenting were, rather than actually having experienced them. Seriously? If I lost any future pregnancies, I think I'd go batty. Seriously. I think that would be the end of any semblance of sanity.
So having said all that? I guess I am trying to say, as you already know from your own experience pregnancy after loss is a tough journey and I think this journey now will be even more demanding. But having said that, I have every confidence that you will make it through. You are a beautiful and resilient woman, and you can do this.
That's understandable being worried about depression.... if you think about it, you're saying you're worried about loss of control. I remember feeling petrfied of depression too both ante and post natal. I think what I did was first of recognise it, then explore it and then just accept those fears. It's almost that once I did that I was less worried about it... sort of I took away the fear of the unknown. Didn't mean I banished the fears completely, but most of the time, I didn't let them have power over me. Ahh, back to control.... one of the mantra's I try to tell myself is accepting that there is only a perception of control.... but to also focus on the things I can control... which is in essence how I choose to respond to things. Damn hard, that one.
If you feel that your anxiety is getting on top of you then seek help. Honestly, to look after your DS and the baby you're growing now, you need to look after yourself. Also there's no need to carry more burden's than you already are - why make the journey harder?
About getting through the pregnancy? My tip? Take it one moment at a time. It's such a big journey ... right now it feels insurmountable, like climbing Mt Everest, but if you focus on the now or break up the journey into smaller parts, it seems much more manageable.
And about the thoughts of not being able to cope with another baby? Mums who haven't had loss think that too...
Go gently on yourself, this is a very hard time. And always feel free, whether it's doom and gloom or not, to ask for support and express your thoughts in here. That's what we're here for - to listen, and try and help you through.
Hey guess what? You're pregnant! That is just the most amazing miracle and right now, you are doing the most important thing ever - being a mum.
Just an incredibly short one from me - I keep fooling myself into thinking I'm in labour If I didn't have so many reasons not to, I'd be begging the doctor to induce me on Monday at my appointment
Sent from my iPhone so forgive the speelung misstacks
Dory, I know!!!!!! I'm still sitting on my butt when I should be planning my wee man's 1st birthday! I can't believe he's almost 1
Teni, with Cam I was begging my OB to take him out around the 35 mark too.....kept thinking he'll be safer on the outside. My OB kept reminding me that bubbie is better inside, so his lungs can develop fully...geez he thought I was a crazy woman!
Pregnancy after Late Loss, Recurrent Miscarriage or Stillbirth ~ November 2010
no such luck. 
I do read along when I can!
. I've ummed and aahed about when is the ideal time and since I'm 14 weeks along, feel ready. Also I'd love to hear how you felt in the early pregnancies, emotionally. I've been up and down heaps and today was a really rough day. I felt so anxious and like I was never going to cope with another baby. I have a gorgeous 2.5 year old son and we lost our first son at 19.5 weeks pregnant and have had two miscarriages since TTC this baby. I know it's normal to be scared and feel overwhelmed but I'm also petrified of depression (not sure why, just have always been scared about it). I started suffering occasional anxiety after losing our first baby and have had it on and off for 4 years. I feel so blessed to be pregnant and love my little bun to bits, but on days like today, the mere thought of going through the stress of pregnancy and early parenting just felt way too much :-(
If I didn't have so many reasons not to, I'd be begging the doctor to induce me on Monday at my appointment 
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