It's kind of strange how so many of us have considered funeral options and that it's normal, I even mentioned to DH a couple of weeks ago that I wanted them all to have matching headstones.
JennaJayen - I have everything crossed for you that nothing happens and it's a good thing that you haven't had any bleeding this time, but I also understand. All of my pregnancies so far have had complications except this one and it seems so inevitable that I keep expecting something to go wrong. I agree with TylersMummy that talking to hubby about your concerns is a good idea.
Laney - that's great news that the scan went well and things seem to be calming down for you, now you can focus on the arrival of your little one. As to your question, i think it's quiet a personal choice, so take your time to make the right decision for you. I've always like the idea of having one earth baby for every angel baby we have, but as we know plans change and we don't always have control over it.
I finally got up the nerve to make the appointment, now I've just got to get up the courage to make go to the appointment. I've been an emotional wreck the last couple of days, I'm sure hormones and the holidays aren't helping. I'm just missing my angel's, especially Isabel, SO much at the moment and I'm worried because I know the closer I get to the same point this pregnancy the harder it's going to get (I'm going to be horrible to be around in 8wks time).
KAM - god for you for making the appointment!!! Well done. It's ok to be a wreck around the same gestation that Isabel died, actually it's ok to be a wreck all of the time. I think I am, I just disguise it. How is your Kate going? Oh and not that my opinion on this matter counts, but I would be going for the same headstones! Absolutely.
Laney - I don't know how to answer that. I think you either just know or you lose the strength to keep going. When the nausea and fatigue hit me extra hard I wonder if this will be my last pregnancy and then I think about my age, and perhaps it will be. But then I think if things don't work out, that I am not ready emotionally to stop trying, so maybe it won't be. When I get really low I do wonder if HB will be an only child. Some parts of me welcomes that ( the selfish ones) and the other parts of me just get really sad and won't let that happen. So really about that question, I am all betwixt and between.
Something really surprising happened the other day. My brother is 50, and he has an acquired brain injury the accident which caused it happened when I was about 4 months pregnant with Amelia. Anyway, when I told him about this pregnancy just the other day, he said the most beautiul thing " this is baby 5 or 6?" He couldn't remember the specifics but he actually counted the wee angels as babies. OMG, no one else in my family ever mentions our angels. How ironic that the one with the impaired capacity does? Anywya, it was a very special moment for me. Made me realise it's better not to assume people with impaired capacity have impaired capacity in all areas. His emotional intelligence has certainly not been affected.
Kam - Well done on making the app hun it is very hard but im sure you will find the strength and courage to go to it. Its normal to be worried when you get round the gestations of your losses, I have had a few early losses and 1 late loss but once I made it safely past 23 and 3 I knew for some reason I could just enjoy and embrace this pregnancy. I wish time would go slower cause now I dont have long . If you dont mind me asking how far along are you?
Dory - Wow that is great thing about your brother remembering your angels even if he has impaired capacity it is amazing what some people are like and what they remember. Im glad that his beautiful words made you feel good! I dont know if I have asked but.. How far into your pregnancies were your losses? Sorry to be noisey but I dont think I've ever asked about your darling angels.
AFM - I have a scan tomorrow cant wait to see my little chubba bub, DF is most likely coming up at christmas but only for a few days but hell be back again after 2 weeks to get me, hes hoping to have the house set up before I get there so that I dont have to do anything how sweet of him. I was very cranky with him the other day I sent him a text message saying "You dont care, I've had enough you can stay with yourself from now on. Im going back to NZ to people who do care. You can organise something with mum and Josh with getting your stuff." He basically told me he probably wont be coming at christmas and that one of his work mates had invited him to his house for xmas diner. It ****ed me right off as this is the guy hes been out drinking with alot. But everything is ok he rung my mum that night to see what was wrong mum said I was upset as im all alone up here and cant do nothing. But we are fine now I cant believe how much of a nasty woman I am to him and he still wants to be with me..
Tyler's Mummy - you're not nasty at all! What you were feeling was legitimate - alone and unsupported and the you find out DP is dtiching you for a drinking buddy? Not cool. He needs to step up and be more considerate. Well that's what I think. Sometimes in hindsight I think we could all say things better, but your feelings were very real and you told him about them.
Good luck with your scan!
Hmm my losses. Back in about 1994 I had a loss at about 8 weeks but I don't ever think about that one and it's not really included in my ticker. I do think about how old that child might be from time to time and think about how different my life would be. IN July 08, I had a m/c at 8 weeks. Blighted ovum. Went for a dating scan to see an empty sac. My first ever scan and it was so sad. Then Amelia was born alive after spontaneous premature birth at 23 weeks, gest. She was too young to survive. So she died in my arms. Nicholas was born alive at 14 weeks gest. Because of that I can't call him a m/c. He wasn't just some blob of blood clot that I passed, but a wee little baby that I held alive for a second or two before he died. He was one of a twin ship. He was twin 1, or the presenting twin, the one closest to the birth canal. He was born after some bleeding which started at about 10 weeks, and continued on and off until his amniotic sac ruptured and about 24 hours later, he kind of just slipped on out, still attached to his umbilical cord. Luckily I was having a scan at the time when his predicament was discovered and there was an Obs next door to the maternal fetal medicine unit who delivered our wee boy. Then his twin sister, they were fraternal twins, with their own separate placenta and sac ( non identical) Sophie was born at 19 weeks gest, again spontaneous prem labour. I birthed her without any pain relief, and I was proud of myself for that. She lived she ages after she was born, about 4 hours. DH gave her a bath and we both cuddled her and nursed her, in fact I nursed her all through the night. I didn't do that with Amelia. For Amelia, the thought of sleeping with my dead baby just scared me. We had Amelia in the room with us quite a bit, but she also spent our sleeping time away from us. So 8 weeks, 8 weeks, 23 weeks, 14 weeks and 19 weeks. Never given any reason for the spontaneous prem labours, but possible cervical incompetence. Thanks for asking. Always happy to tell.
Dory - Wow you have been through so much yet you are such a strong woman! Im so sorry that your darling angels couldnt stay with you. So with this one will they be your milestones? What was Hbs pregnancy like? Did you get to enjoy it or no? Sorry for all the questions.
Tylers Mummy - questions are ok For me the milestones are each of my vodoo dates, but also 24 weeks and every day thereafter, until bubs in born. Hmm, looking back , I liked being pregnant with HB but I didn't enjoy the pregnancy. It was just so hard. I had no confidence I could actually do it, and genuinely expected the worst most of the time. I had quite heavy bleeding at 5 weeks 5 days and 10 weeks 5 days. I went on bed rest from 7 weeks, so I was pretty much isolated and alone, except for BB, most of the time. I shunned visitors as I wasn't really comfortable with them visiting and me laying around and the house messy. I am not good at asking for help either. I should have gotten people to do my housework for me. I did go out for short periods some days, but mostly I was on my own, except for the Obs appointments which were a life line. It was hard and lonely. I found out more about myself than I expected to. I had way too much time to think about things. There were hard decisions to be made about the management of the pregnancy, which at the time were really difficult to make. Now they are easy to make. Overall I think HB's pregnancy is simply one of the hardest things I have ever done, 7 months of being alone and scared witless. But there were moments of real enjoyment. The first time DH felt HB kick, getting to 24 weeks ( and celebrating by doing some art work on my bump for that Obs appointment). I am sure there are others, but those are the first that come to mind.
I am not sure I am strong, I think it's more that we each have to deal with what we have. Although when I look back on everything, I have absolutely no idea how I got through. None at all. BB? Some niaive hope that I might just be able to do it? I don't know. I think each of us in here is a strong and beautiful mamma. You included.
TylersMummy - I'm 23wks with another little girl, just another 8wks until I reach the same gestation. I don't mind you asking about this or any of my other pregnancies, it may be hard to talk about but I love being able to remember them and share them, especially if it might help someone else.
Dory - I completely agree with TylersMummy, after everything you've been through, to sound so optimistic and hopeful, that takes an incredible strong women, so many other's would have dealt in a much less healthy way (if that makes sense).
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. If you dont mind me asking how far along are you?
cant wait to see my little chubba bub, DF is most likely coming up at christmas but only for a few days but hell be back again after 2 weeks to get me, hes hoping to have the house set up before I get there so that I dont have to do anything 
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