KAM - god for you for making the appointment!!! Well done. It's ok to be a wreck around the same gestation that Isabel died, actually it's ok to be a wreck all of the time. I think I am, I just disguise it. How is your Kate going? Oh and not that my opinion on this matter counts, but I would be going for the same headstones! Absolutely.

Laney - I don't know how to answer that. I think you either just know or you lose the strength to keep going. When the nausea and fatigue hit me extra hard I wonder if this will be my last pregnancy and then I think about my age, and perhaps it will be. But then I think if things don't work out, that I am not ready emotionally to stop trying, so maybe it won't be. When I get really low I do wonder if HB will be an only child. Some parts of me welcomes that ( the selfish ones) and the other parts of me just get really sad and won't let that happen. So really about that question, I am all betwixt and between.

Something really surprising happened the other day. My brother is 50, and he has an acquired brain injury the accident which caused it happened when I was about 4 months pregnant with Amelia. Anyway, when I told him about this pregnancy just the other day, he said the most beautiul thing " this is baby 5 or 6?" He couldn't remember the specifics but he actually counted the wee angels as babies. OMG, no one else in my family ever mentions our angels. How ironic that the one with the impaired capacity does? Anywya, it was a very special moment for me. Made me realise it's better not to assume people with impaired capacity have impaired capacity in all areas. His emotional intelligence has certainly not been affected.