What you are feeling is so normal My angels were not as late as Ianto (4wks, 8wks and 17wks) but I understand the feelings you have described. I hate my body, it has failed me and it has failed all of my children.

I am so sorry for what you have been through, I wish there was a way to take away all the pain.

Wishing you all the best for the next 13ish weeks, you CAN do this, I have faith in you.