I don't know your personal situation Trish, but i definately don't think your doing the wrong thing by sticking up for your child! I think deep down you really wanted this baby... and I think maybe he really is just shocked, and once he gets his head around it - he'll join all the fun of the new bub! Fingers crossed Trish... you sound like your a fantastic mum (i mean look at the smile on that little girls face!) - that little bun in the oven doesn't know how lucky it is yet to have a mummy like you.
Awww Trish... HUGE HUGS!!
I think you have little choice now, I know how you feel about the alternatives. I think in the coming months you both need to work on making a very happy mummy and daddy before bubby comes. And that will be the best protection you can give
Tanya
OOOh Trish, hun... I dont know what to say...I am here for you thjough & I know it will all sink in for him & be Ok... I think some time together Really talking might do some good!???
Trish :hugs: I hope that as the days pass his feelings will warm to the new little addition.
I have the feeling that if I were in your shoes ATM my DH would be having the exact same reaction.
I'm praying for you that his daddy love will kick in soon...
He will come around
I think he needs to know you understand his point of view. To him it may feel like a betrayal... he tells you, after all that has happened of late, that a baby is out of the question and you end up pregnant.
I know he was asking more attention from you a little while ago (in a very male way), maybe he needs to know this bub won't cause anymore cracks, maybe let him know you are still 100% commited to him no matter what happens...
I dunno sweets, I don't envy you at all!! I think atm you need to be close to him... communication needs to be open. He is the one you have chosen to have more babies with and hopefully spend the rest of your life with... talk to him and let him talk to you, not matter how he feels, just listen. He isn't thinking of this baby as a little person yet, like you are, he is thinking about the affect bub will have on all of you... just remember he can't help how he feels, you need to reassure him... and it will take a lot of work!!
Yep I agree with Tanyaq,
You need to have time together, no interruptions & really talk & open up to each other...
Sit on the couch & just talk like you would have in the early days of your relationship...
Dh & I will lay on the bed if the girls are playing together or on the couch & it allows us time to reconnect rather than just be parents!!!
It will be fine, he will come around, my DH felt Zyon kicking for the first time last night & laid there giggling at it for about an hour.... You will be fine, but to open up & talk about his fears & worries & anything you have too, will help sort through the concerns!!!
Oh Trish hun,
I agree with what Tanya has said to, perhaps when he has been able to express his fears and concears he will feel lighter and more able to start accepting and loving your new baby,
He must really be feeling scared to be reacting this way, I think some reassurance that you love him and that another baby is not going to 'take' you away from him will help alot.
THinking of you sweety I know in time everything will be ok.
Awwww Hugs Trish. Don't doubt your self, stay strong in what you believe in & Mark will come round. Tracy & Tanya make great points & I know you yourself know how best to handle the situation because you know Mark best.
Ya know what, Glenn still wakes at night & EVan wont wipe his own arse yet either! Isla was very much planned but it doesn't make it any easier. Like you said this makes 5 for you but your older boys can help out etc. Mark just needs to get his head around it all & pointing inthe right direction.
Oh hun, good on you for telling him. Atleast it's out in the open now and he can start getting used to the idea. I don't think you're selfish at all hun, clearly he has a reason for not wanting another baby (has he told you why?) but it takes 2 to tango, you didn't get pregnant by yourself and that's what he needs to realise.
I think trying to sit down and have a good long chat about things would be really good for the both of you right now. Maybe you're both not seeing where each other are coming from, maybe if you got a chance to really hash things out then it might settle a few things down in his mind. I'm sure he's just panicking about not knowing what things are going to be like. Is money his concern? If it is, tell him people always manage one way or another, I'm sure people often wonder how people manage, but they do.
I'm sure in time he will come around, even if it's not until bubs is born and he holds him/her in his arms for the first time. Big huge hun.
Awww Trish it must be such a relief to at least have Mark know now. Im sure given time it will sink in. I hope you guys can get some time together to enjoy yourselves as a couple and connect in that way so its not just about being parents( as wonderful as that is) Hugs to you.
We have spent a day talking about things and Mark is slowly coming around. I won't say that he's happy or thrilled, because he isn't. But, atleast he's not screaming, yelling or worse still crying. He tell's me he is in denial, it's easier that way. Hmm, not sure if that will work in 8 months time though. LOL.
Trish, it sounds like he is going to come to terms with it fine. If he is already starting to, I think he will be thrilled before you know it. Like you said, it's good that he isn't yelling/crying. Hang in there.
First of all, congruatlions, and I hope the bleeding eases and you have nothing further to worry about.
Secondly, I remember reading a while back that you said we didn't want to know what Mark said he wanted if you got pg again when it was a hypothetical - so I'm not surprised you were nervous about telling him or that his response doesn't qualify him for husband of the year...
You're a strong woman, hun, and I'm sure you can talk Mark around. Maybe after it's all sunk in and he's had time to get used to the idea he'll be more positive.
If it makes you feel any better, my DP said the other day that the one thing that helped him with our surprise package was my absolute determination that we were having a baby, no negotiation or alternative, and it was up to him to decide what he wanted to do with that. And he definitely came around!!
Registered User
), maybe he needs to know this bub won't cause anymore cracks, maybe let him know you are still 100% commited to him no matter what happens...
Trish, I'm so sorry you are having such a rough start to this pg. I'm sure he will be fine. You look after yourself.
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks