Please do not be judgemental when you read this, It is purely my thoughts after a traumatic start to a much wanted pregnancy.


We definately planned this pg, temping etc, we were both so excited to fall on first cycle of TTC. We have a lovely 9 month old at home whom we both adore and were very excited about adding another.

Unfortunately over the course of the last 12 weeks I have become quite negative about the pg.

I have felt like something was wrong from the start, I was sure I was loosing the baby at 10w3d due to a heavy bleed, after spending 5 hours in ER, (GP refused to see me) I was told if you're loosing it we cant do anything anyway. 3 days later the bleeding stopped and I breathed a sigh of relief, although bub was measuring over a week behind in dates

4 days ago I started bleeding again, no one would see me, not the midwife, ER, GP or nurse. I was told this time to ignore it. Well today the bleeding was ongoing, but we had our NT scan and bubs was happily jumping around and no sign of where bleeding was coming from.

Well we get home and on the answering machine is a message from the ob, saying please ring to discuss your results. Turns out we have a 1 in 277 risk of DS, Tri disorders. I thought 1 in 250 was the cut off between high and low, but appears not. Now I have to decide if I want a CVS to check.

I now feel totally detached from this baby, I caught myself today wishing it would just end, so I could stop worrying about it. My DD has had to put up with mummy being miserable for over 3 weeks, she doesn't deserve this.

Sorry but I can't tell my thoughts to anyone else, I know 1 in 277 is still really good odds, but what else can go wrong. I have had enough.