Do you find this rude?? Or is it just my pregnancy hormones??
When you tell people that you are pregnant and you already have a little one and you get the "gee that's quick isn't it??'
DD is 13 almost 14 months and i'm 10 weeks with #2. When we tell people we are having another one we get all the comments, that's quick, gee aren't you baby makers, didn't take you 2 long did it?...
I'm sooo over hearing it and i think i'll slap the next person who says something. DD will be 21 months when this one arrives so no, i don't think its too close. Who's business is it of yours anyway if we decide to have our babies close together????? Do be so rude and just be happy for us!!!!!!!!!!!
Does anyone else find these types of comments rude or is it just me? How do you deal with them?
Yes it is kind of rude, but people seem to think that they can comment on stuff like that without the receiver being offended Just like they seem to think it's ok to comment on your weight gain etc.
FWIW It took us a really long time to fall with Nate, and if one more person said to me "so when are you giving Darcy a sibling?" I was ready to punch them too...
Lol it's SUCH a PITA, isn't it? Rest assured, if you didn't already have #2 on board it certainly wouldn't be long before everyone was hitting you up about 'when are you going to give DD a sibling?'.
I was still pregnant with DD2 when everyone started harrassing me about when I planned to go in for #3... I got so tired of repeating that DH and I only ever wanted two kids and just because we were expecting another girl didn't mean we were going to keep popping them out until we got a boy! Two is more than enough for us!
But yeah... sorry, no real advice on how to deal with the well-meaning but frustrating comments like this. I'm sure people don't mean any harm but honestly, do they not think you haven't already heard these comments from 10 other people and that you're probably sick of having to explain your reproductive choices to all and sundry? Congrats on the new bub, hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy!
Definately rude, but IMO people find something to comment on about everything these days.
Society is becomming more rude in general.
How to deal with them? Just smile and say nothing. People are usually fishing for a comment back most of the time, and if you don't comment (or 'bite' from their 'fishing') they tend to leave you alone.
Well, if they weren't commenting on them being close, I guess they'd be asking when you're going to try for another , it's really no one's business and I get how irritating it would be (not having been in the same position myself). Not entirely sure it is rude, thought probably bordering on it, certainly very nosy! Ha, ha, just read glamour's post and we said same thing! Note to self, read other's posts first!
Grrrr, it's so annoying isn't it?! When it comes to pregnancy and babies people always have something to say .
There are 22 months between our last two (a great age gap ) and when we first announced that I was pg with DD, FIL asked, "Was it a mistake?". Huh??? Who asks questions like that?! Just because there is a smaller age gap than there is between our first two doesn't mean our baby was unplanned. And even if she was unplanned, why would you still ask that?! (Sorry for my own vent LOL)
I don't really think people mean to be rude. They are often just surprised and it's the first thing that pops into their head. People said it to me a lot too, but water off a ducks back i say!
what if you just looked them straight in the eye and say "i beg your pardon''. and then wait for them to say something further and just stay silent, but look directly at them. i reckon they'll be the one feeling rather uncomfortable pretty soon. and you could just end their discomfort with a sarcastic "rrrriiiggghhhhttttt''.
if i had the guts that's what i'd do when i get the 'oh my god you're so big, sure you aren't carry twins'. you just can win hey! soon you'll get the comments about you belly and whether or not you are showing etc. oh the fun of it all!
and big congrats on your pregnancy love! we hope to achieve a similar feat
Yes I do find it rude. We encountered it heaps of times when I was pregnant with Anelise, even though there is 2.5yrs between her and DS2!
I also got reeeeeeeeeeeeally tired of hearing people say 'You're gonna have your hands full'... What is with that? So annoying.
Yep, definatley rude! Some people have no tact in what they say - it drives me insane. FWIW i think you're babies will have a lovely gap - they'll grow up to be best friends
I do think perception has something to do with it though. I can choose to take someone's comment as being positive in intent, and feel good that they've said it, or I can perceive it as rude or negative and have it ruin my day.
Either way, responding to it as if they meant it positively is a win-win - if it's actually meant positively then I have responded appropriately, but if it's meant negatively then it completely takes the wind out of someone's sails to be replied to as if they were giving you a compliment. If someone says in a derogatory way that you've fallen pregnant again quickly, then replying 'I know, isn't it wonderful, we wanted our kids to be close together in age' gives them no ammunition at all.
OK, some people are just out and out rude and obnoxious, in word, tone and manner. But the majority (even if they could use a good thumping with the tact stick) are just trying to make conversation. To be honest, we'd (we being pregnant women in general) be more peeved if they said nothing at all and totally ignored the pregnancy, which is not that unlikely if they feel they are unable to say anything without potentially offending us.
Totally agree with Suse - just take it in the spirit that it's intended - which I'm sure is positive most of the time.
I'm sure I would be guilty of a, "wow, that's quick" if you were my friend. I mean, you feel obliged to say SOMETHING and somehow a simple "congratulations" never seems enough. It should be, but still.
When I tell people that we're trying for #2, I get all sorts of presumptions because of my age especially because we've been trying for a while. I get people asking me if I think I should adopt (!) or hint at IVF. TBH, I'm not offended at all, they're just thinking out loud and we're all guilty of that from time to time.
Ah yeah it does get annoying doesn't it? There will be 20 months between DS and this one and I've been getting the "oh how close" comments alot. When we found out this one is a girl, we started getting the pigeon pair comments. Heard it once, heard it a thousand times! A lady in a baby store said to me how lovely it was to have the pigeon pair and that we would stop there with one of each. I decided to play and told her we were planning on having six! Her jaw dropped to the floor lol.
I find most people just say these sorts of things just for something to say, to make conversation, etc but yeah it does get tiring hearing it all the time!
I too don't think people mean to be rude, but I also tend to take offence to these kind of comments.
When I told family I was pregnant (with the baby we miscarried before this pregnancy), I got the comment 'yeah I thought you were' from a few people, funny thing is I was only about 4 weeks pregnant, how could they possibly know?! I was 7 DPO on our wedding day and feeling completely well, we found out we were pregnant 3 days later.
I think it is just the first random comment that comes to mind most of the time.
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Do you find this rude?? Or is it just my pregnancy hormones??
Just like they seem to think it's ok to comment on your weight gain etc.
) and when we first announced that I was pg with DD, FIL asked, "Was it a mistake?". Huh??? Who asks questions like that?! Just because there is a smaller age gap than there is between our first two doesn't mean our baby was unplanned. And even if she was unplanned, why would you still ask that?! (Sorry for my own vent LOL)
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