I had the same problem as well & everyone not only the midwives made me feel bad - the ECHN, MIL, strangers. It's horrible cos you do feel like you've failed & then to have all these people telling you that you have [-(

I'm not so sure about the grin & bear it theory. I say stick up for yourself, tell them you have made your decision based on past experience. Hehehe I say that, but how hard would it be to do in real life?!