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Thread: My booking in appt........

  1. #1

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    Default My booking in appt........

    Hi girls, hope you are all well.

    Today i had my booking in appointment with the midwives. I wasn't overly happy with the midwives attitude regarding Breast feeding.
    I could only BF my DS for 8 days as my milk didn't come in properly .I would of BF if possible but it's abit hard when there is no milk there.
    Anyway when she asked what my plans where this time, I told her that I planned to give BF a go again but if it doesn't work I will formula feed as I did with Aaron.
    She then started to really inforce the fact that i BF as it's best for bub. She made my feel like I failed cos I didn't BF.
    Wondering if anyone else feels this way too, or am i just taking her comments the wrong way?
    I only want what's best for my baby, and if that means bottle feeding then thats what I will do. Sorry for babbling on.

    Take care Leah


  2. #2
    Custardtart Guest

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    Hi Leah,
    Do yourself a favour and take everything the midwives say with a grain of salt. I've been given directly conflicting information from two different midwives before.

    It's generally accepted that BF is best for baby's health, but if you are unable to produce milk then NOBODY has the right to judge you for that. Make your own decisions, and don't let the turkeys get you down!

    Just smile and nod, and let it slide. You'll do what you need to do when the time comes, and no amount of badgering from midwives will change that. Take the support they offer and ignore the rest. After all, they're people like the rest of us, not omnipotent.

    Kerrie

  3. #3

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    Westy... just remember you're only in the hospital for five days or so (usually)... so I think Custard's suggestion of grin and bear it is a good one.

    Sift through the info you're given... try to see past people's individual biases (in both camps) and go with what is best for you and bubs.

  4. #4

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    It's all very well for the midwife to say that BF is best, but if the milk isn't there bubs can't starve!
    I found that as I had already had one baby that I was kind of left alone a bit anyway.

  5. #5

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    Thanks girls for your replies but think maybe i shouldn't of voiced my concern as you say i should just grin and bear it.
    Do you mean this in a nice way or what?

  6. #6

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    Westy, even if you chose to botte feed your baby, no one has the right to judge you on it. It's your choice and yours alone and no one should have any say in it but you. The fact that your milk didnt come in roperly in the first place makes what the midwife said, in my opinion, even worse as you didnt have the choice. I would have felt the same as you if that was said to me.

  7. #7

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    Westy, I have the same problem as you, I tried so hard to breastfeed my first, but I just dont produce milk. My mum had the same problem with her three, so I dont see me being able to do it this time either. I was worried about the hospital midwives, especially since the hospital im using has a very high breastfeeding rate, but when I went in for a tour they said they support and encourage breastfeeding, but if you choose not to or if you cant, then they support you in that as well. Choosing to formula feed when you have no milk is you doing what is best for your baby, and they should be able to see the sense in that. My baby lived on scarce milk and blood for the first few days of his life, and nobody can tell me he is better off for it, and I will not let it happen again.
    Ok, I apologise for the rant and hijacking your post, all I really want to say to you is to do what you feel is best for your baby, and the midwives will hopefully respect you for that. And fingers crossed that particular midwife is on a holiday or somerthing!

  8. #8

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    I had the same problem as well & everyone not only the midwives made me feel bad - the ECHN, MIL, strangers. It's horrible cos you do feel like you've failed & then to have all these people telling you that you have [-(

    I'm not so sure about the grin & bear it theory. I say stick up for yourself, tell them you have made your decision based on past experience. Hehehe I say that, but how hard would it be to do in real life?!

  9. #9

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    LOL Sarah... I remember at my booking in appointment they asked if I would BF and I said "I'll try" and I got a bit lecture about it, from then on when they asked I said "yes" and just left it at that. I guess thats sort of a "grin & bear" it sort of response, just to avoid a lecture. Our close friend is a midwife and she had to hold her tongue around me a few times LOL! so she had to have it in return...

  10. #10

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    I had the exact same thing happen to me - I told the midwives I hoped to all things going well. The lectures began, although I didn't have the history you have.
    As it turns out, I'm a regular old cow (in more ways than one....) but I am lucky, and there are alot of people that can't do it - for whatever reason. The girl next to me in hospital didn't want to because "it made her feel sick". I reckon that is a crap excuse, but at the end of the day, it was her decision, and the midwives let her make it! There were heaps of women bottle feeding in hospital - I saw at least 8 different women making up bottles when I was in, and there are probably only 16-20 mothers in hossy at any one time??

    As for bfding - as the others have said, I have heard conflicting info from every midwife I have seen. Take the good bits, ignore the rest of the crap cause it just makes you doubt yourself. As long as your baby is healthy and putting on weight, and you are doing OK, thats all that matters at the end of the day.

    Good luck
    Fi

  11. #11

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    Thankyou so much for your replies girls.

    It makes me feel better to know that other people have experieneced the same problem with the midwives.
    I think the same as most of you have said " breast is best" but if there's no milk that's not always the case.
    At the end of the day your bub needs to be feed and weather that be by breast or bottle ,I don't feel it is anyone else's place to make judgement of you. Every parent wants whats best for there baby.

    Take care and thanks again for your support. Leah

  12. #12

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    Leah, honey, you are the one who decides what is best for your bubba not them.These days the formulas they have are just as good and have just as many if not more nutrients and vitamins than BF.

    Look angel if your milk doesn't come in properly it just doesn't it's not your fault, she's carrying on like you have deliberatly done this.

    Some of them are so old fashioned, my auntie is a midwife and you should of heard the serving I got when I stopped feeding my first at 4mths and she's my AUNTY.!!!! O

  13. #13

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    Nadia,

    Thanks for your understanding, really appreciate it.

    As you said there is nothing wrong with formula and my DS is proof of that.
    I know it's a decision only i can make. My decision is to try and BF and hope for the best.

    Can't believe your Aunty gave you a serving,after BF for 4 months.

    Take care Leah

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