Suggestions and/or ideas requested?

[nagromeyk]

Hi!

This afternoon I went and did a tour of the hospital where I will be having my baby. One of the girls there asked 'how many people she could have present in the birthing suite to support her during her labour/birth?

Which got me thinking - who do I want? Immediately one dear friend of mine sprung to my mind and ever since I got home I have been trying to think of a 'special' way I can ask her to be there to support me. She is like a sister to me -but a couple of things: 1) she lives in Nelson Bay and 2) she is due in June to have her 2nd child.

So I guess why I am posting this is to see if other people may of done a similar thing, and if so, what did you do? As this is my first pregnancy I have no idea but yeah would really love to do something really special as she means soo much to me!

Any ideas and suggestions would be greatly appreciated

Thanks in advance!

[blackduckies]

Hi Sasha, sorry my brain won't calculate when you are due but either way she is going to have a very young baby and if she is BF it may be very difficult for her. Also the experience of childbirth for her is going to be very recent and she may find it difficult to be the support you need, because of the intense feelings I imagine she would have. I guess you could ask her but consider that she may say yes but then find that she is incapable of doing it when it comes to the time. If you do decide to ask her I think what you have said here would be a great way to ask eg: best friend who is like a sister to me and what a priveledge it would be if she would be your birth support person along with whoever else you would like there. Is there some else you would consider as well, just in case? I wish you the very best of luck and can certainly say that someone else as a support person is an excellent idea, it has helped me heaps in my case I had my mum as well as DH, there is nothing quite like the love that your mum has for you to help get you through tough times. But then again not everyones cuppa.
Hugs with asking her. Pam.

[nagromeyk]

Hi Pam, thanks for your input. That is the predicament really and I realise that if she has to have a c/s this time round then it might be hard for her as she will no doubt still be recovering. She is due mid June and I am due mid August.

I guess I can only ask her, I know she would be there for me but as you say things may change closer to the time. I have decided I will have my mum with me (thats if she wants to be) havent really gone into deep discussion about it yet with her; and of course my husband but no there isnt really any other people that I would consider.

I do have another friend - L that has just had her 2nd daughter last week, will keep her mind possibly as a backup if R cant at last minute. L's births have been by c/s would prefer to have R as she had her 1st vaginally but at the end of the day I guess it doesnt matter does it. I will be out of it probably anyways hahaha

I will just have to keep my thinking cap on - I will eventually think of something no doubt!

[blackduckies]

I think the main thing is you feel really close to who is there with you, or you know they know what they are doing.Eg: a doula or a midwife. You have plenty of time to come up with something, like you say you can always ask, most likely be good if you give her the option of not coming is she does'nt feel like she can, she might feel commited otherwise and come even though she really feels like she should be home with bubba. As far as the birth process, I think your friend who has had C's would know about VB has she been in labour at all? Even that would help.

[spring_ag]

Hi Sasha, first of all congrats on your pregnancy.
IMHO if your friend has to care for a 2mo newborn, it would be hard for her to be your support person. But you can always ask, who knows someone else can take care of bub for a while.
During labour, DH was my support person. Mum was there as well, but it was DH who literally stood there beside me all the time. There were 2 midwives helping out, plus my OB. So the birthing room was pretty crowded LOL
I know it is nice to have lots of people dear to you supporting and helping out, but I guess when you are in so much pain, you might not be able to interact with lots of people anyway. Thats said, my labour was a pretty quick one, arrived hossy at 10am and deliver at 12noon. So things might be pretty different with a long labour.
HTH and good luck with the rest of the pregnancy

[cindyb]

I had Dp and a good friend at my first birth and DP and my sister at the second - both times i found it great to have that extra person and because i had them there we managed to get pic of DP and myself with new baby seconds after the birth - photos that i am so gald to have!
It also meant that DP had someone to support and talk to him when i was in my own little world as you tend to be when in labour

[zorica]

Hi Sasha28, you really need to discuss this with your husband aswell and make sure he feels ok with what you decide.

I did find with first baby my friend asked to be there, I didnt really want her there in the room but my husband straight away expressed that he didnt want anyone else in room other then us 2 and midwife. My husband didnt really want to share this moment with any friends or family, and I felt the same way. We had close family in room leading up to the birth but as soon as I started to do the real pushes, I wanted EVERYONE out!

Having another baby again, it will be my husband and I once again, I just dont feel comfortable to have anyone else there - even my mum.