Also not a dad but please, do what you feel is the right thing for you.
If you want your mum, then ask her. Seems you need all the support that you can get as you DH leaves a lot to be desired during labour and birth!! It is your labour and you need to feel as comfortable as possible.
As for DH, tell him straight out that as he was so unhelpful (ok, useless!) during the first labour, then this time you are going to make it an experience that you WANT to remember. That means mum is coming and you cut the cord. As soon as he can carry a child for the 10 months (no, 40 weeks is NOT 9 months - sorry but my family seem to love overcooking the kids, not one of them has been born by EDD, all have been 11 days or more after), then he can tell you whether you are being selfish. Until then, his opinion is unfounded and completely irrelevant (maybe word that a bit better in the 'talk').
In my case, me DH has decided that he won't cut the cord as he wants to stay at the "head end". Sounds weird I know but he is very phobic about hospitals (has had some tramatic experiences involving them). I was amazed he lasted through my first labour and did a spectacular job.
It is very important that you feel comfortable during your labour and birth so please, ignore his selfish demands and do what you need to!
Last edited by Chocaholic; July 28th, 2008 at 02:14 PM.
I think that it is absolutely your birth and you can choose anything you want for it and do deserve wonderful support from whoever is your support person.
Have you really discussed this in depth with your DH? Does he realise that you weren't satisfied with his performance last time and have you discussed ways that he could improve.
Does he get along really well with your Mum. I wouldn't want to see a situation where they went into competition as to who was the better support person so you got a little crowded out (as happened with a friend of mine - there were almost a punchup at 8cm dilation)
I'm not sure about cutting the cord as I have no strong feelings towards it generally but I really think that you need to calmly sit down with him and really talk about it without getting into who deserves to as each of you have perfectly valid reasons and you have to find a compromise.
Again, not a Dad, but I just had to second what everybody else has said. You need a support person with you who will be there for you and help you while birthing, not someone who is putting themselves first. I had both my Mum and DH with me and when things started to go wrong DH panicked and was running around like a headless chook while Mum was the one to calmly talk to the midwife and talk about what my options where. So sit DH down and calmly tell him how terrible he was last time and this time you want to feel more important than Harry Potter so your Mum is coming in unless he can give you an iron clad guarantee that he will devote 100% of his attention on you.
Good luck and be firm!
PS hate to be pedantic but I can't help it, it's actually only 38 weeks of real pregnancy (the first two are the two between the end of your last period and ovulation) and there are 4.33333333 weeks in a month so 38weeks = 9 months. Unless you go right over of course
I think if it is something you want to do, you should definitely stand your ground.
I cut the cord with my first baby, and it was like Trish said... very difficult emotionally for me because it meant that he was then seperated from me for the first time in 9 months. It was an amazing experience that I am glad I got to do.
Personally, I think it's a tough one. There's not a lot dads can do directly with the baby. Some dads are very clueless as support people (my DH watched a movie on his puta and politely paused it while I had contractions LMAO - I was ok with this tho.. I didn't want him pampering me.. that would bug me! So having him being his normal self actually kept me relaxed! LOL). Anyway.. my point being, he may be useless support, but he obviously still wants a part in it, which I think is fair enough.
Definitely insist on proper support though if that is what you need. But it doesn't mean the support person is going to catch the baby. They are there to support the mother, not to catch the baby. He's probably feeling pushed out of the scene entirely.
As for the 10 months - LOL - I can't let it go either There are 13 weeks in 3 calendar months.. so 40 weeks is 9 months and 1 week. So yup, we're pregnant for 9 calendar months
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There are 13 weeks in 3 calendar months.. so 40 weeks is 9 months and 1 week. So yup, we're pregnant for 9 calendar months 
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