Personally, I think it's a tough one. There's not a lot dads can do directly with the baby. Some dads are very clueless as support people (my DH watched a movie on his puta and politely paused it while I had contractions LMAO - I was ok with this tho.. I didn't want him pampering me.. that would bug me! So having him being his normal self actually kept me relaxed! LOL). Anyway.. my point being, he may be useless support, but he obviously still wants a part in it, which I think is fair enough.
Definitely insist on proper support though if that is what you need. But it doesn't mean the support person is going to catch the baby. They are there to support the mother, not to catch the baby. He's probably feeling pushed out of the scene entirely.
As for the 10 months - LOL - I can't let it go either There are 13 weeks in 3 calendar months.. so 40 weeks is 9 months and 1 week. So yup, we're pregnant for 9 calendar months
Maybe he can be down the business end of proceedings and help the baby out ie be the first person to hold the baby and you are then freed up to cut the cord. If he is doing that then explain that you will need your mum to look after your head end (ie. manage your emotional state) during proceedings.
Or compromise as Dach said - he gets to do the cord if you get to have your mum.
I just ask DH his thoughts & he said while he can understand your DH's feelings of it being his thing, he wouldn't be offended if I said I wanted to cut the cord.
He also thought it was amazing yoru DH could sit there reading a book while you were in labour & that it sounds like you really should get to have your Mum there if thats what you want.
TBH, I was thinking that you were being a bit unfair at first. As Liz said, there's not alot dad's can do to be directly invovled with their baby. I understand you wanting to do it, but I can see his side too. I'm sure my DH would be really disappointed if he couldn't cut the cord.
BUT....then I saw that he read a Harry Potter book during your last labour and thought "pffft"!!!!! I think he needs to show that he can be a wonderful support to you during labour before you decide that he can be the one to cut the cord. HIS moment? He needs to participate if he really feels this way, not just jump up when the baby is crowing.
So as the others said, maybe compromise........he can cut the cord if you can have your mum there. Or, have both your hands cutting?
If I were you I would be really upset and angry. These feelings are not good for the baby though. I think dachlostar's compromise is a great idea. For me having my mum there would be a lot more beneficial than cutting the cord. I really think you need your mum there because he will probably do the same thing at this birth that he did at DD's.
If it means that much to you (and i know it does) to cut the cord yourself then i believe that you should. Maybe Dh can hold him while you do it and then he can be the one to place bub on your chest.
As for having you mum with you - the same. If you want to have extra support to help you through your labor then you are entitled to it. Could your mum give the baby a quick kiss/cuddle after dh does, then quietly leave the room so you two can bond alone with ds?
Dani, i really feel for you, you dont need your dh stressing you out anymore. Just tell him that's how its going to be and leave it at that (i know it wont be exactly that wasy). You've done a great job so far of trying to explain and that hasnt worked so just do what you need too. Its a very important and special occassion and you need not to have any regrets mwah xoxoxoxox
BellyBelly Member
There are 13 weeks in 3 calendar months.. so 40 weeks is 9 months and 1 week. So yup, we're pregnant for 9 calendar months
mwah xoxoxoxox
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