Maybe he can be down the business end of proceedings and help the baby out ie be the first person to hold the baby and you are then freed up to cut the cord. If he is doing that then explain that you will need your mum to look after your head end (ie. manage your emotional state) during proceedings.
Or compromise as Dach said - he gets to do the cord if you get to have your mum.
I just ask DH his thoughts & he said while he can understand your DH's feelings of it being his thing, he wouldn't be offended if I said I wanted to cut the cord.
He also thought it was amazing yoru DH could sit there reading a book while you were in labour & that it sounds like you really should get to have your Mum there if thats what you want.
TBH, I was thinking that you were being a bit unfair at first. As Liz said, there's not alot dad's can do to be directly invovled with their baby. I understand you wanting to do it, but I can see his side too. I'm sure my DH would be really disappointed if he couldn't cut the cord.
BUT....then I saw that he read a Harry Potter book during your last labour and thought "pffft"!!!!! I think he needs to show that he can be a wonderful support to you during labour before you decide that he can be the one to cut the cord. HIS moment? He needs to participate if he really feels this way, not just jump up when the baby is crowing.
So as the others said, maybe compromise........he can cut the cord if you can have your mum there. Or, have both your hands cutting?
I think it is more selfish that he wants to be the first one to hold the baby and deny you immediate skin to skin contact and have your babe at your breast - those first moments are integral to the breastfeeding relationship.
i feel that you should cut the cord this time as he has his turn with the 1st child i mean it is you body afterall and you are the one that has carried this baby around and had to put up with all the stuff for the last 9 months or so.
As for not helping around the house i totally understand that hubbies do get sick of running around after their wives all the time with can you do this and you get me that can you pick this up but come on got to think of your wife and all that she is going through i mean it took two to tango so hubbies i feel dont have the right to be slack and say or think right your preggger it is your problem now.
it does makes me mad when i hear the hubbies are not pulling their weight and helping out when they know they should be.
so as i said i feel that it is your turn to cut the babies cord or at the very least both of you cut it together you have every right to want to cut it and IMO i think you should cut the cord. well that is my ten cents worth.
Well I have to say I can see both sides of the argument.
As far as the labour goes, well I'm going to be very generous in this situation and say that maybe your DH just doesn't know what to do. I think you really need to get an indepth birth plan going (you would include in here who u want to cut the cord) and include all the options of pain relief etc you want to include. I would also go through all these methods and get DH to practice with you.
Practice the different positions u think you might or could like to use and that way he will know them and iu won't have to feel like you are trying to choreograph a musical when u want him to help u in a particular position. Practice massage and the gentle talking or relaxation techniques. Get him involved in the music and oils u will use, if you are going to use some. There are some good articles on here to prepare ppl to be good birth support ppl. Make sure your know what u want and that it's written down and DH knows it off by heart.
I would really think about what you want out of a birth support person, what u DO NOT want out of a birth support person. Explain this to DH, yes it is a very important event for DH but it is you that has to go through it so let him know that this is what u want and get him to be involved and take steps to show he will be that and if he is not willing well then explain to him u will have someone there who will be what you need.
Also maybe look at a doula. It might help to have someone there who can help show DH what to do and get him more involved so he has a good experience but to make sure u r taken care of. Also maybe he would be more comfy with this seeing as it is just another professional such as a midwife there.
As far as the cutting of the cord, would u consider doing it together? Or is there something you could compromise with? Like u cut the cord DH does the first bath? Or u could ask if DH could catch the baby? I have been at hospitals where they r comepletely fine with this.
You can all cyber scream at me for being so blunt....
But Danielle - WHY are you with this man (boy)?
You are not just commenting about his desire to cut the cord - but you are basically telling us that he is not doing anything at home, leaving you to look after your first child, alienating your family from something that you want them present for, and you are already convinced that he will not help with this new baby.
I think that the cutting of the cord should be the least of your worries. I would be getting him online so that he can have a read about how his wife REALLY feels. Your overall frustration at him will not end with the pregnancy, so get the issues resolved before the baby arrives. And I would be spelling it out in a birth plan that you wish to cut the cord - and make sure that the midwife is aware of this. If after the birth you change your mind, then sobeit. But you are the one in control of the situation.
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