Hi,

Well I have to say I can see both sides of the argument.

As far as the labour goes, well I'm going to be very generous in this situation and say that maybe your DH just doesn't know what to do. I think you really need to get an indepth birth plan going (you would include in here who u want to cut the cord) and include all the options of pain relief etc you want to include. I would also go through all these methods and get DH to practice with you.

Practice the different positions u think you might or could like to use and that way he will know them and iu won't have to feel like you are trying to choreograph a musical when u want him to help u in a particular position. Practice massage and the gentle talking or relaxation techniques. Get him involved in the music and oils u will use, if you are going to use some. There are some good articles on here to prepare ppl to be good birth support ppl. Make sure your know what u want and that it's written down and DH knows it off by heart.

I would really think about what you want out of a birth support person, what u DO NOT want out of a birth support person. Explain this to DH, yes it is a very important event for DH but it is you that has to go through it so let him know that this is what u want and get him to be involved and take steps to show he will be that and if he is not willing well then explain to him u will have someone there who will be what you need.

Also maybe look at a doula. It might help to have someone there who can help show DH what to do and get him more involved so he has a good experience but to make sure u r taken care of. Also maybe he would be more comfy with this seeing as it is just another professional such as a midwife there.

As far as the cutting of the cord, would u consider doing it together? Or is there something you could compromise with? Like u cut the cord DH does the first bath? Or u could ask if DH could catch the baby? I have been at hospitals where they r comepletely fine with this.

Goodluck!