I asked my hubby what he thought and he said that the hubby has little real involvement throughout the pregnancy and if this is the way he feels connected then hubby should be able to cut it.
i agree with him. We're the ones that feel it move all the time and are constantly thinking or reminded of being pregnant and all the Dads get is what we are telling them is happening and the way we ask them to participate is by helping around the house. Although we think its fantastic that they increase help, its not really feeling or bonding with the baby.
Having said all that, I think its up to both of you to decide whats right for you.
With the support person, I would definetly say have who you want in there, come on, labour isn't easy and the guys don't really understand.
Hahahahahaha Marc was initially saying nah thats fine. Then I asked him if he thought that was a bit unfair given I got to experience everything myself, he agreed. His suggestion was "Do it together".
I know I'll get flamed here but I think it is a bit selfish in some situations. I mean we get to experience everything not because we want to but because we have to. And its not all bad yes pregnancy is tiring but its also a beautiful experience. I really couldn't take that away from my husband if he really wanted to do it.
BUT...
Your experience is different, Marc was extremely supportive through both pregnancies and both births. In your experience I would tell him to go read "The little red hen" You don't help you don't get to eat cake simple as that.
I have to say I have never really given it much thought I have always been happy for the support person to cut the cord.... my BHL couldnt be there for the birth of DD2 so my mum was and so she got to cut the cord which she says that it is something she will never forget, she actully said the seeing the birth from the other point of view for the 1st time was quite dornting( sp? ) as she said she felt helpless to help my pain and didnt know if what she was tring to do was helping or if it was annoying me ( I guess as she has been on the birthing side where sometimes things just p!ss you off ) So maybe thats how your DH felt, maybe he felt like he couldnt help so distanced himself with reading a book maybe this time you will have to tell him what you want him to do like GET ME ICE CHIPS NOW !!!!
I guess what I am saying for me it doesnt bother me I go in expecting the support person to be the one cutting the cord as after all I get the 1st cuddle as baby is alway put straight on our tummys and that is where the cord is cut from... But do what you feel you are comfortble with, but dont leave you DH out or he might resent it... Talk to him let him know how you felt last time....
Danielle, I have spoken to my DP, I read out your thread to him. Here is his response. I have worded it slightly nicer than he said it
In his opinion Yes your DH is being unreasonable. He cut the cord first time around, it's only fair you get it this time. For him he felt it wasn't a "huge" deal cutting the cord, whereas for a woman we hold it more symbolic. His words, Get Over It.
On the subject of support, it's simple. You want it, you have it. It's your birth, and your the one that needs the support. Besides that, it's family. You are wanting your mother, not the next door neighbour.
So maybe my DP is different to some of the other males. He was pretty damn useless at supporting me in Tehya's birth, but tbh I think now he was just scared as it was a HB and he'd never witnessed birth before. Luckily for him, after a swift toe in the bum he was better with Abbey.
Goodluck hun and I hope you get it sorted before bubs birth
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