My DH sounds a bit like Ginger's. Not quite as distant, but never seemed as excited as I thought he shoud about movements etc. He adores his boys though, and has told me he wants another, so I guess it is just his way.
I am sure your DH will love this child just as much as his others. Try not to worry.
I am also with Ginger. It wasn't quite real for my DH till DS came along. He can't experience what we are going through, so he didn't bother to try to. I didn't think anything of it at the time knowing that's just how he is. DH is a very devoted loving father now that would do anything for DS & I....hence another bub on it's way
I agree with what some of the other posters have said, I think it's hard sometimes to really get into the pregnancy side of things cos it's not actually happening to them.
But I must say when you mentioned he lost a baby (like starssky was saying too) it could have something to do with the loss. He may be really scared that something could happen to this bub. And if the loss ended up with his previous relationship breaking down he could be worried about the same thing happening. Maybe?
Hope all works out for you in the end I'm sure it will, all the best
I think if my DP was reacting the way yours was I would worry too and be exactly the same
I also know for my DP it wasn't real until DS was born and interacting. Also wonder if the loss of the baby is affecting how he is bonding with the baby too... so I can see why he is acting the way he is.
Oh wow, I'd take a guess and say maybe the new addition is bringing up sad memories for him. The poor guy. This is perfectly natural and normal though and something he might be trying to work through on his own. He might not want to upset you.
From the other things you wrote, it sounds like he is totally on board otherwise.
One thing - no matter how many children he has already, or how many he has seen born, it will NEVER, NEVER get old. Please don't worry about that, why do you think he went through what he did after the reversal - to do it all over again, cos it's so darn great!
When I was reading your post I thought I wonder what has haapen to scar this guy a little and then got to the bit about losing his child. I think perhaps it does have to do with this. If you feel up to it maybe you could delicately talk about the baby he lost and just let him know you r open to talk about it if he wants.
Ahhh you poor dear Men are funny sometimes...I can't say our stories are exactly alike at all, but I do know that with each of my pregnancies, hubby has been quite...don't know how to put it? Distant doesn't quite seem right...just that he wasn't overly excited or
'into it', if you know what I mean, until later in the pregnancy - usually once bub can be clearly felt moving around and I actually have a big round belly. It's like it's not a reality for him because it's happening to ME, not HIM.
From what other friends have said, this seems like quite normal male-behaviour. I think if you add to that the fact that your DH has had that tragedy element in the past, I would think he's behaving quite normally. I do feel for you, though....not only is it hard anyway, but you have all those hormones racing around your body as well, which seem to heighten any fears or anxieties or worries you might have. Make sure you look after yourself
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Men are funny sometimes...I can't say our stories are exactly alike at all, but I do know that with each of my pregnancies, hubby has been quite...don't know how to put it? Distant doesn't quite seem right...just that he wasn't overly excited or
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