Oh wow, I'd take a guess and say maybe the new addition is bringing up sad memories for him. The poor guy. This is perfectly natural and normal though and something he might be trying to work through on his own. He might not want to upset you.
From the other things you wrote, it sounds like he is totally on board otherwise.
One thing - no matter how many children he has already, or how many he has seen born, it will NEVER, NEVER get old. Please don't worry about that, why do you think he went through what he did after the reversal - to do it all over again, cos it's so darn great!
When I was reading your post I thought I wonder what has haapen to scar this guy a little and then got to the bit about losing his child. I think perhaps it does have to do with this. If you feel up to it maybe you could delicately talk about the baby he lost and just let him know you r open to talk about it if he wants.
Ahhh you poor dear Men are funny sometimes...I can't say our stories are exactly alike at all, but I do know that with each of my pregnancies, hubby has been quite...don't know how to put it? Distant doesn't quite seem right...just that he wasn't overly excited or
'into it', if you know what I mean, until later in the pregnancy - usually once bub can be clearly felt moving around and I actually have a big round belly. It's like it's not a reality for him because it's happening to ME, not HIM.
From what other friends have said, this seems like quite normal male-behaviour. I think if you add to that the fact that your DH has had that tragedy element in the past, I would think he's behaving quite normally. I do feel for you, though....not only is it hard anyway, but you have all those hormones racing around your body as well, which seem to heighten any fears or anxieties or worries you might have. Make sure you look after yourself
I would second everything that everyone has said re thr pregnancy bringing up his emotions about losing the baby.
I also thought I'd throw in there about the IVF conception. It's a very clinical way to go about it, so he could feel dissociated from the whole conception thing too because all he had to do was "shake in a cup" so to speak. It's certainly not the intimate and enjoyable process that we are all lead to believe it will be, so maybe that's brought up some strange feelings for him too?
But mostly, I'd say he's probably processing the loss from his previous relationship and maybe you could try talking to him about that?
DH was like this, this last pg and even for the first week after bubs was born. He only snapped out of it when I went completely mental and broke down at him about his lack of excitement. He was genuinely surprised, he didn't realise that that was how he was coming across. He was very worried about certain things, but he actually was very happy about bubs, he just wasn't showing it very well, because of he's fears and anxieties.
My DH was the same & I remember feeling very worried!! He never voluntarily touched my belly. He only felt DS kicking when I told him to & even then didn't leave his hand on me for long. He just didn't seem excited at all. I remember feeling very rejected too.
The only time he ever seemed excited was when we heard the heartbeat, that made it "real" to him.
It's not indicative of how they will behave once the baby is here. My DH is completely different now that DS has arrived.
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