Does baby sleep in your bedroom?

[Liz]

Just wanting to hear both sides of whether or not to have the baby in our bedroom or in his/her own room. I'm actually planning on having the baby in the bedroom next to ours, and I'll set up a comfy chair in there for feeding at night.

My mum has said it's better to have the baby in another room, else you wake to all their little noises all the time.

Are there pros/cons to this? What do you guys do or plan to do?

[BellyBelly]

Elijah is 9 months and sleeps in our room, he only wakes for a feed and sleeps well. Marisa slept with us for two years, we tried the cot first but after a great deal of struggle and heartache, we co-slept and she now sleeps well in her own bed (from 2.5 years).

I haven't had any problems with babies waking from noises at a young age because they need and want sleep for a little while. I believe that if you tiptoe around babies when they are sleeping, they will get used to sleeping when it's peaceful and quiet and as they get older and more noises are inevitable, especially when you have number two - they wont be able to sleep with noise around them! So I encourage people to go about their lives as normal when babies are put to bed, no creeping out the room etc. My nanna always told me how her son would sleep through her vacuuming in his room and all - now that would be great

I also believe that if babies wake for whatever reason and cry, I want to be woken up so I can comfort them. Their crying is a survival response and it's all they have to tell you that something isn't right - and usually that is because they are tired, hungry, wet, frightened etc - not because they heard a noise. When I went into the Mother and Baby Unit with sleeping issues with my first, they had several days where they had problems with the fire alarm going off - those things are SO loud. Not one baby woke from it at 9.30pm.

[Liz]

I agree... I don't plan on tip-toeing around the baby when he/she's asleep.

I'm not planning on ignoring cries in the night But mum said that babies make little noises and stuff while they sleep, and when you're aware of the baby all the time, it can disturb your own sleep. Of course, if the baby wakes and something is wrong I'm sure he/she won't hesitate to let me know about it! LOL

[BellyBelly]

I don't think you'll have a problem sleeping LOL Babies have a way of draining every little ounce of energy from you and I am sure you'll have no issues falling asleep and staying that way hehehe....

Didn't mean to sound pushy btw. just my thoughts and the main thing you need to do is what your head and heart tells you that you want to do. Listen to your heart and follow your instincts. Much nicer that way

[Astrolady]

Kameron slept in his own room from the moment we brought him home. Lachlan however slept in our room but in a basinette next to the bed for his 1st 4weeks as he was feeding every 2 hours and I couldn't be bothered getting out of bed to sort him out

Love

[Ambah]

Ivana - I understand what you are asking, cause it happened to me when I brought Aidyn home and tried to sleep in the same room as him. I just couldn't sleep, as every time he so much as made a sigh or a squeak I would be awake. I was just far to on edge as a new mother, and it was affecting my sleep 10 times worse by sharing a room with him. So I moved back into my own bedroom with DP and left Aidyn in his own room nextdoor, I could still hear every noise he made so I wasn't too worried. It was a bit easier on me sleep-wise, but very annoying when I had to trek out of bed to get to him every night.

As he got older I became a lot more relaxed and he would end up co-sleeping in our bed with us at least half the night - every night, until at least 8 months old. And after that we moved his cot into our bedroom against our bed, and he stayed in there with us until he was just over 1 yr.

[misty]

i plan on having bubs sleep in their own room from get go. my reasons are a little different, and many people (my parents) don't understand or think i will change my mind at least for the early months - we'll see.

basically we have two 'babies' already - my cats, sam and kah. they sleep with us and i don't really feel it would be fair to kick them out of 'their' bedroom, particularly as i am already worried they might get jealous of a new addition to the family (and they are completely indoor cats). we hav already shut off the 'baby's' room, and my boys know that they are not allowed in there - they will now no longer even enter if the door is left open.

we have a spare bed in the baby's room so if the newborn is feeding really regularly i may just crash in there - and DH and i have pretty much decided that i will express some milk so he can get up and feed bubs during the middle of the night as well.

basically we want to keep our room as 'ours' (and the cats, who already use it as a sanctuary when we have visitors).

[Angel]

Kynan sleeps in our bedroom and probably will until he either shows some signs of needing to be in his own room or when he starts regularly sleeping through. It's so much easier on us having him in our room at this stage, especially as it is the colder months so we don't have to go so far to get him when he cries. Also, he often settles a lot quicker when he can sense we are near.

In the beginning I used to wake up when he made his little noises but I got used to them pretty quickly and now only wake up when he cries or starts making those 'I need you now' noises (also I'm usually so exhausted by the end of the day that not much would wake me up besides that LMAO!).

[Lee-Ann]

With my first DD I put her in her own room, but with my 2nd DD I put her snuggle bed on my bed as she was a 1 1/2 - 2 hourly feeder to begin with. I did this for about 8 weeks. Once her feeding settled down I then moved her to her own room and had a monitor in my room. When this little one is born it will depend on how I feel and what type of baby she is etc. I don't think there are any hard and fast rules especially when it comes to babies.

[Gemma]

Amy has been in her cot since we bought her home. Our dogs sleep in our room so having her there as well is not an option. Also we are not comfortable with co-sleeping and if they do stop breathing how will you know as you will be asleep? We have an Angelcare monitor so we will know if she stops breathing as it will alarm. We do hear all her noises through the monitor but mainly sleep through them. We can hear her cry as her room is next to ours and also hear through the monitor.

[Mumma2three]

We are having baby in our room as there is no other choice, we're in a 2 bedder and Im not putting bub with DD. With DD and prob with this one, I had her in my bed anyway. There's no way Im getting up to feed when Im that tired, so I change the nappy once and then bring bub in bed. Much more relaxing!!

[Sal]

Baby will be sleeping in our bedroom right from the start. I don't actually like 'nurseries' and refuse to create one! When bub is ready to have his/her own room then he/she will move into one.

[Melody]

i'm with Gemma & Misty for the same reasons. It is important to me to retain a sense of autonomy (with DH) & I think there are little things you can do to preserve a sense of you being a person/couple rather than just a mother if that makes sense.

Dont get me wrong.... there isn't an ounce of me that isn't completely & utterly devoted & in love with this bub (& I haven't even met him yet ) but he really will not know the difference because he comes to this world without expectation. I am happy to maintain my space & my cat Hannah will be more than happy too.... besides, DH can't really do anything to help in the middle of the night so I am also wanting to make sure he can still function with his daily business needs.

[Liz]

Wow thanks for all these replies. I'm still really none-the-wiser which way to go.. coz both ways sound good! hehe

I think I still like the idea of the baby in the room next to ours, with a monitor. I'm hoping to breastfeed, so if I can do that in another room it won't disturb DH too much, and an overtired DH would be more than I could handle! lol.

Sal - I don't like the classic 'nurseries' either. The only baby thing that'll be in the room will be the type of bed, and probably nappies everywhere! hehe. I'm not one to do up a room all baby-like. I think that sort of thing is for the mother more than the baby... coz the baby's not going to remember any of it! If I don't sort out the spare bedroom before March, the poor baby will be sleeping amongst books and a soccer table, and chairs. LOL.

[Phteven]

Yasin is still in my room at 9 months and when he moves ito his own room DH and I are both going to miss him. I can't imagine going to all the trouble of getting out of bed and going to another room every time he wants to feed. Its so much easier to just feed him lying down in bed. I was reading an article recently which claims that recent research shows that cot death rates are lowest in environments where babies sleep within arms reach of thier parents but in thier own bed (ie a cot with one side off, a side car thingy, or bassinet or hammock within arms reach).
The NSW coroners department announced about a month ago that it will be making new reccomendations regarding co-cleeping to SIDS and KIDS because there has been an increase in the amount of shared bed related deaths in the last couple of years. So although I shared a bed with Yasin quite often I think I will do so less with Meeny.
I think that its probably best to have a wait and see approach. Once you meet your baby you will have a better idea about what will suit him/her. Lots of people find themselves reappraising thier ideas once thier baby arrives. I know I changed my mind on a few issues fairly quickly.
I wouldn't worry to much about your DH getting woken up. Mine managed to develop selective hearing fairly fast and sleeps through most of Yasin's feeds - although I find that when a napy needs changing a kick in the shins is sometimes a powerful aid to hearing .

[mooshie]

hi there

my first dd was in our room for the first 2 weeks but she was a terribly noisy sleeper, she hiccuped, grunted, farted, you name it she did it and i just couldn't sleep lol, so she went into her own room in the bassinet. with a monitor.

my second ds was going to be in our room but that lasted only 1 night as dd (21mths at the time) was extremely jealous of the new baby sleeping in our room so we thought it being such a big change for her we would move my son into his own room.

with lani she was as quiet as a mouse and slept in our room till she was around 4mths old and i really missed having her in there with us. we are in a bigger house now and i was a tiny bit worried that ds would see why she was crying in the middle of the night before i got to her and he might of accidently tipped up the bassinet.

as for feeding in the middle of the night - i usually get up and feed with the telly on for light (on mute), this suited me fine. however if they woke up after a feed and needed a top up i just usually popped them into bed to feed, this was so easy with lani as i would then just pop her back in the bassinet without having to get up. also the bassinet was close to my bed so if she got a bit unsettled i would lye in bed and rock the bassinet with one hand lol.

i have counselling with sids and kids due to the loss of my first daughter and my counsellor was telling me that sids and kids do recommend that the babies sleep in the same room (but not co sleep) as there parents for the first six months. something to do with the baby and mother being in sinc with their breathing - dunno if there has been studies on it, just something i was told.

good luck

[Liz]

dachlo - I think I'd be scared of falling asleep if I was feeding in bed. I think I'll make myself up a nice cozy corner in the baby's room. Should get a nice rocking chair

There seems to be so many suggestions re SIDS that it's hard to know what to do and what not to do. I think still not enuf is known, and suggestions seem to always be changing. I'm hoping just a monitor with the baby will calm my fears enuf.

recommend that the babies sleep in the same room (but not co sleep) as there parents for the first six months. something to do with the baby and mother being in sinc with their breathing

I don't want the baby learning to breathe like DH! He has verry irregular breathing at night. Bit of a worry sometimes. (Hope it's not hereditary!)

But yeah.. I agree, my ideas will no doubt change as things progress. Just like we have all these ideals on how we'll discipline our kids, and teach them to read nice and early etc etc. I've heard it all before from other people, and when it comes time, it doesn't always work like that. heheh. But I know I'm definitely reading to my belly (DH too) as soon as baby has ears!

[Inspiral]

Because I was a single mum, my oldest boy Brendan stayed in his cot in my room until he was 2 and a half. With Daniel, who has just turned 3, I'm married now and we decided that having him in our room for the first 12 months at least was the way to go. There isn't much space in our room but it worked out.

Father in Law wasn't that supportive but there you go.

There are no bedrooms close by to put babies in in our house so the new baby will be in with us as well. I think I would spend most of the night walking up and down the hallway to make sure that they are still breathing - even with a monitor.