.....I have recently (like within the last few hours) actually discussed this and my feelings about it to my Mum and Sister and the outcome wasn't what I expected at all.
She has said she supports me and our decision for our birth plan but backs it up by also saying that 'you shouldn't exclude people then expect them to help after'. Now I have never once asked my Mum for anything during this pregnancy. I have even included her in some doctors and scan visits. I know that ill need some help when Bub arrives and have even told her that, so she knows I want her to be included. I think this comment was very selfish of her because she has a bee in her bonnet still about not being allowed to be in the room. .
Oh hun I agree, that is a very selfish thing for her to say, she is making it all about her when really, it is not.

Perhaps you could try (gently) suggesting to her that people shouldn't expect their help to come with strings attached? This is her grandchild, you are her child. Her help and involvement should come because of her love for her family, not because she got her own way re the birth!
I know it doesn't always work like this (not with my mother anyway!) but it doesn't make it right for her to pressure you like that.

Deos she mean that if you won't have her at the birth, then you can expect no help & support after? That is blackmail, and a crummy attitude. I can only hope when you bub arrives she will change her tune.

Do stand your ground though. If this is what you & your DH have decided suits you, then that should be it. It is your child being born & your decision to make, and there will no doubt be more parenting choices you have to make over the years that she or others disagree with. You need to start standing your ground now.

What does your sister think about it all? Can she speak to your mother about it?
I really hope this all works out for you. you certainly don't need the stress at this stage of your PG, you should be relaxing & looking forward to it not stressing about it.