How many times have you been pregnant? *Sensitive topic*

**LimeSlice** · November 17th, 2011, 12:58 AM

3 pregnancies, 4 babies, 2 live births. Miscarried twins at 9wks.

**Bronzdbebe** · November 17th, 2011, 05:44 AM

I have been pregnant twice. The first pregnancy resulting in the birth of charming Master Z, The second one is still in progress, I'm almost 25 weeks...with my fingers tightly crossed for the safe arrival of DS2. xx

**Tegam** · November 17th, 2011, 06:19 AM

6 pregnancies
4 beautiful children
1 ruptured ectopic 9weeks3days
1 mc 12weeks

A loss is a loss I would never judge someone on their pain but whilst I didn't think I could survive the pain of my first loss. I just know I don't have the strength to birth a child, hold my baby and walk away empty handed.

*****hugest apologies for commenting on something I really have no idea about*******

The pain in this thread, I feel physically sick. So sad

My mum had 8 pregnancies for two children. One loss was 23 weeks.

My MIL had three live children(twins) one stillborn, one 25weeks and a few mc. How horrid.

**BlackRose** · November 17th, 2011, 06:30 AM

Twice! One out and one currently baking!

**LionsandBears** · November 17th, 2011, 12:19 PM

I just know I don't have the strength to birth a child, hold my baby and walk away empty handed.

How do you know? How does anyone know until that's what happens? Who says it's strength that keeps you going anyway?

Btw, I'm not having a go, I'm just in a very bad space atm and the whole "strength" thing gets to me. Like I must be strong to survive this. Normal women wouldnt. Therefore I mustn't be normal or something. Maybe I dont love my babies enough or why else can I get up each day and keep going. I've had people say to my face, I couldnt survive what you've been through. Why not? How do they know? What makes me so frigging special that I have to be "strong"? Is that why my babies died? Because I'm strong and therefore can cope better than a "weaker" woman?

What if I'm not strong enough today? Surely I should be "better" by now. If I'm not strong enough there must be something wrong with me. Please be strong and hide the pain, we dont want to see it, hear it. Be strong because we feel helpless.

It's not like any of us whose children die are given a choice when it comes to surviving. Or at least not a choice I'm prepared to take.

The love and pride of those beautiful babies sustain me when I have no strength left. Friends and family prop me up when I can't stand. Hope and love keep me going when I'd rather just stop breathing. The pain never, ever ends.

Neither does the love and that's what I'm desperately clinging to. Is that strength? Or just sheer bloody mindedness that this will not break me, no matter how brittle I feel?What happens if I do break? Is that because I'm not strong enough?

Sorry for the OTT rant. The whole idea just really gets to me.

**Tegam** · November 17th, 2011, 01:08 PM

Holy f&@k......

And I guess that's why one shouldn't say a thing when one does not have a bloody clue what they are talking about.

I appreciate the raw honesty of your post and would delete my comments but then no one would understand where your post came from.

I'd say more but that would be making it about 'me'.

My most humblest apologies for saying anything that upset you tash.

**Tegam** · November 17th, 2011, 01:09 PM

Double post

**LimeSlice** · November 17th, 2011, 02:37 PM

I think Tegam understands that - hence why she posted and apologised, *LittleMissSummer*. Think perhaps you have misunderstood.

Tash.

**Tegam** · November 17th, 2011, 02:38 PM

Oh gee I'm digging an even bigger whole. I really mean well I promise.

I didn't mean anything bad.

At all.

I was in shock I'd hurt her so much. Did it hurt to read? Yes because her honesty gave me a window into her pain! I said something dumb but did I feel she was calling me dumb? No way.

I have re read what I wrote and I don't think it should have been taken the way you thought but I can't change that.

I said I was very sorry I said I didn't want to make it about me.

What should I have said? Or not said?

**glenny_c** · November 17th, 2011, 02:38 PM

Why wasn't that post necessary? Tegam felt bad about what she had said and was apologising. I think a lot of us have said the same as Tegam in one way or another and I want to thank L & B for helping us all to think a bit more before we speak and to be more sensitive.

Tegam's post was completely genuine and she is devastated that she hurt anyone.

**Maruschke** · November 17th, 2011, 02:40 PM

Tegam I totally understood what you were saying. I think you should be commended for your reaction. Very humble and loving.

**LimeSlice** · November 17th, 2011, 02:41 PM

Tegam I totally understood what you were saying. I think you should be commended for your reaction. Very humble and loving.

Totally agree with that.

**Tegam** · November 17th, 2011, 02:43 PM

And do I think tash should have or needed to apologies, hell no. I don't think she owes me any explanation.

And the more I think about it the more I learn. I have never thought how words like strong, brave, respect.,., come with such hidden responsibility.

Being part of this forum teaches me to consider things from others point of view. I know that IRL so many people don't want to talk about these things and I want to be there for people I know. And I want to learn how not to put my foot in my mouth.

Thanks Guys for taking it the right way.

I feel as tho it's been my turn to feel the BB ***** slap today. Probably being over sensitive but am bowing out of this thread now and I think I'll take a bit of a break from BB. I really just never would want to cause someone any more pain.

**loulabelle** · November 17th, 2011, 02:44 PM

I got your post tegam, as an op said, very humble and also very genuine. Xx

L&b thankyou for such an honest post, I think many of us have learnt a lot from that Xx

Sent from my GT-S5570 using Tapatalk

**nothing2lose** · November 17th, 2011, 02:46 PM

My shoes are very comfortable when I put them on. They fit me exactly how I need them to and sometimes I forget I am even wearing them...Why? Because they are my shoes. No one else has walked in them so I know exactly how they feel.

If someone else wore them they might get blisters.

Get what I mean??

ETA: sorry, just read that over and it sounds like I am on drugs (Apple is thin anyone?) what I was trying to say is let's not get hung up on who meant what. If the posters in question have an issue with each other, or anyone else, I am sure they can sort it out themselves or report the post.

**LizLemon** · November 17th, 2011, 02:59 PM

I just wanna thank L&B for such a moving post that really opened my eyes. You may not feel that you are strong, or hate the word, but gee you are an amazing member of these forums.

And I also want thank Tegam for your response. I don't think L&B was asking for any kind of apology, but your response was lovely.

That is all

**Rouge** · November 17th, 2011, 03:15 PM

Naw. I'm feeling the love. This is what I love about forums (and I don't mean to belittle the situation... I'm worried my typed word is going to fail atm.). But the thing is I think in these situations it's always nice to see two people talk it out. And I think that's happened here, quite respectfully actually. And it's nice to see no lynching going on either. Misunderstandings happen, feelings get hurt unintentionally. This happens here and in life. It's what you do with that, that counts. So don't feel you are being attacked Tegam. I think you handled yourself well, and honestly, and no apologies from you either L&B. Everyone is entitled to their feelings, and this is one of those threads where everyone is going to feel different. And that is ok. Doesn't mean anyone's feelings aren't valid. Just different.