I am so disappointed

[Jahzara]

Oh - i am so sorry

This is a big fear of mine as DH and i have decided to go for number four -again- as after my recent miscarriages i still dont feel complete. I want another baby regardless, so we are going to give it another try - but i worry that i will be told its another boy. I was devastated when i found out DS#3 was another boy. I feel so selfish for thinking that cause i truely am grateful but i have a deep longing for a daughter !

I dont blame you at all for feeling the way you do !



Take time to process your feelings

xoxoxo

[Feijoa Mum]

I guess nothing is 100% as I well now know.
At first he said he wasnt sure but could see something but then he said he was pretty sure it was a penis and testes. It was more likely to be boy than a girl

I have ebayed all my boys clothes to buy pink stuff because as you can imagine I was over the blue I wanted head to toe pink! Havent kept receipts from the stuff I have bought new and I have removed tags and washed them anyway.
DH says not to worry we can get more stuff but it upsets me that I have so much now redundant clothes and not even an outfit for a little boy. I wanted to get started on the hospital bags this week but now I have nothing to put in the babies except two white singlets!
It just sucks! Its so unfair!

[~Trish~]

It doesn't sound like he was 100% convinced it is a boy? Are you able to get him to do another scan just to be sure?

More hugs .

[Tanya]

I am so so sorry... GD is not very easy for those who haven't been through it to understand how it feels (as some of the responses are testament to) ... Your feelings are valid and even if you had been told a boy to begin with I am sure it would still have been somewhat disappointing.

I am sure you will love this little boy just as you do the others and I completely understand the loss you are feeling right now.

xx

[Freya]

I am so so sorry... GD is not very easy for those who haven't been through it to understand how it feels (as some of the responses are testament to) ... Your feelings are valid and even if you had been told a boy to begin with I am sure it would still have been somewhat disappointing.

I am sure you will love this little boy just as you do the others and I completely understand the loss you are feeling right now.

xx

Ditto Tanya.

[Winter]

Stacey, big hugs! What you're going through is a form of grief. There's nothing easy about grief. You get through this any way you can, but be gentle on yourself. You don't have to feel grateful that bubs is healthy or anything you think you "should" feel. You feel exactly what you feel - disappointment, loss, whatever. We know that at the end of the day, you're going to love your baby - that's a given, so between now & when you do fall in love with your baby, look after you, feel what you feel & share the grief with your DH - he's probably feeling it too.

[Miss K]

A friend of mine was told boy up until her 4d scan at 37 weeks and they said it was a girl but guess what it came out a little boy so why not double check it again?? You never ever know!!

[Jas]

I am so sorry, I can imagine the feels of loss you were having. I thought ds2 was a girl and felt a little bit of that sense of loss when he was a boy because i felt like there was really a little girl in there.

I don't want to give a false sense of hope but 2 out of 3 of your scans have said girl and it does sound like your sonographer was not completely sure, so I too think you should have another scan, I know you are saying you don't want to have false hope but if you are having a girl it would be a waste to buy new boys things, and if you are having a boy maybe another scan would help to bond with your baby as a boy, seeing as you might be in less shock at the time?

[beckoes]

I cant belive they got it wrong, im so sad for you! I totally understand that you would feel like you have lost 'your girl'! I hope you find some good support!! HUGS to you!!

[*Ash*]

You are grieving the loss of the daughter that you thought you were carrying. It must have been wonderful to be told that you were having a girl when you longed for one so much. Being told you were having a girl (twice) would have impacted on the way that you regarded your baby. You believed you were carrying a girl, a daughter, your longed for princess.

Now to be told that you are having a boy, means that you have lost her. You have lost your daughter, the dreams, the hopes and the plans that you had for her and your family.

And it is sad that it has happened close to your due date. Now that you have been told that you are having a boy, you have to re-frame all those hopes and plans. What you expected to be, will not be. That is a loss.

I am sending hugs and hope....

[Willow]

Aw hun, I'm so sorry

I can imagine how you must be feeling right now.

[My Three Sons]

I was just popping back in to see how you were. I feel strongly about GD, so had to come back in for a squiz. I had been thinking about you a lot last night and how crushed you must be.

I will continue to pray that this 3rd sonographer got it wrong (and it does sound like he isn't 100%) and you get your beautiful little girl after all.

[christy]

I have experienced GD as well. I was devestated when I found out DD2 was a girl and spent time grieving my boy. I allowed myself to do it, despite feeling bad at times about friends who were TTC-long term, and when I got up from my bed, I felt better. I named her that week, and I said "goodbye" to my dreams of a boy.

Its a hard process to go through and very hard to understand the range of emotions when you go through GD.

[~clover~]

I know how you feel hun I felt like that with DD2. It was very different, as I only had one girl at the time, but I understand 100%.
I knew deep down she was a girl, but right to the second she was born & I could see it for myself I hoped she would still be a boy.
You will start to feel better about it & accept it. But I don't think that longing ever goes away. I have DS now & still sometimes think how DD2 should've been a boy. Specially since she's as rough as one, lol.
Thinking of you xx

ETA - I've got loads of boy stuff I was going to sell in a garage sale tomorrow. NB up. PM me your address if you want it

[~Raven~]

You have named and imagined life with a daughter. You need to let yourself grieve so please do so.

If you can afford another scan then maybe do that so you know for sure what you have in there and if it is a son, you can begin to bond with him.

xox

[didispunk]

I just want to offer you a big hug. And wishing you the very best in your grieving time.
xoxo

[Talia*L]

Just wanted to offer more support.

You are sad because you lost a daughter. You will be okay though, because you gained another son.

It must be really difficult, especially so close to the birth.

I read recently of a woman who had been assured (via Amniocentisis!) that her baby was a girl. So they did the full nursery etc... then when the baby was born, it was a boy!!! They had accidentally taken her tissue instead of the baby's! How shonky! At least you have some warning.

[Jewel]

Big hugs! I'm so sorry.