Involving your partner

[meow]

We went to a breastfeeding class at our hospital last week and I've been pondering this since...

There were 4 women there from the birth centre and 4 from the hospital. All the birth centre women had their partners with them but only one of the women from the hospital did.

I'm wondering what this is a reflection of? Do the birth centre women have more feelings that their support people should be with them and knowledgeable about everything than hospital women? Are the hospital women more inclined to think that the process is about them and they prefer to go it alone on the info?

I'm not making any judgments, it's just as there was obviously a distinct difference I'm just wondering why... any thoughts?

[Mel A]

hey ren
How wierd i was thinking the same thing. DH and I were at our OB appointment and three women came in without partners. Perhaps it's about work commitments and how much they feel comforable sharing with their partner.

who knows

[QueenMab]

I went to bf class alone, DP did have to work but even if he didn't I wouldn't have made him come. There were some women with partners there & some without, I'll be honest & say the partners that were there looked a tad bored though! But atleast they were there & being supportive which is the main thing.

[Enchanted]

My DH came to all my scans as well as my 12wk Dr appointment and our booking in appt at the hospital. He didn't come to any of the midwife appts at the hospital as he was working but he knew everything I discussed with them anyway. I also brought home pamphlets etc that they gave me which he read.

I think it really depends on your sitution. If my DH wasn't working when I had my appts he would have come.

[BellyBelly]

I know what you mean ren. I think many women who use birth centres (and not saying those who use main wards of hospitals don't) are generally more focused towards a natural or drug free birth, and they know that it's sooooo important that their support team is with them every step of the way, not just labour but education too, because their support, or lack of, can affect the birth and outcome. They know it's a team effort.

So I think those using birth centres may be more in tune or insistent on having their partners there - perhaps if some women know they are going to have an epi or whatever don't feel that their partner needs to know as much, just be there? But it is interesting when I see couples, how they interact and what they want.

[Astrid]

DH turned up to different things when I went through the FBC at the RWH. Due to work (if he wanted to come, he had to take the whole day off at no pay) he did not come the midwives, ob appointments or scans except for the booking appointment. He did come to the lessons (3 sessions) and the active birth class, as they were on the weekends. Must admit he was a grumpy bum about going, he was tired with the long hours he was working though. He did admit though he got a lot out of the active birth class about what was needed of him as a support person.

This time around it is a bit different, he has been to one scan and home for one midwife visit, not bothering with classes this time around. Don't feel that I need him there for appointments really, maybe I will have him at the 40 week one, but that will also depend on his work.

[meow]

I should have added that this was an evening class. My H hasn't come to any of my midwife check up appointments during the week either- we didn't think it was worth him having the time off work. He's only taken time off work for the first midwife appointment which was long and the scans.

I'm thinking it could be a reflection of the 'knowledge is power' attitude that seems to be maybe more prevalent in the birth centre.

[QueenMab]

Ren, oh, I thought you were talking soley about the bf class... I went to a hospital run one of those. I birthed in a birth centre & found every group session we had there everyone's partner's were there, except for one lady once.

I felt that DP should be there because a) I didn't want to go on my own & b) We were going to be doing it together so he needed to know everything, especially if I was going to be in a bit of a state! He was definately more comfy on the day having been there before & met our MW.