Very sad miscarriage- help please!

[mumisabella]

Hi,
I just thought i would let u all know that i unfortunately had a miscarriage over the weekend. I had light spotting on Thursday night and rushed to the hospital. After a 5 hour wait and a long night, the Doc's were happy to send me home and monitor me as the bleeding had stopped and i had no cramps what so ever through out it all. Then before i left i got my HcG levels back and they confirmed that the pregnancy had dropped down to 3200 ( i had had a 7 week scan and the pregnancy was definately viable). I knew that i didn't have much hope. On Friday i had an ultrasound and it confirmed that Bub had died. The measurements show 8-9 weeks (we would have been 11 weeks on Friday) but i had a doc appointment on Thursday (before it all started that evening) and he flickered over Bub's heartbeat so i'm a little confused? Yesterday was the most pain i have ever experienced during the actual miscarriage. I could not move as the 'contraction' like pains were coming every 2 mins and lasting 20-30 seconds.I had to go to hospital for morphine and they removed the yolk sac as it was stuck in my cervix causing the most unbearable contraction pains- worse than when i was induced with my DD.
So that's my sad story. I am sooo scared of trying again as i have lost two babies in less than 9 months. It is just so draining and leaves little hope for me. I know they are common but it feels like if we try again, i am just going to be let down and i can't bear to go through this again.
Does anyone have any advice for me? My DP and i really want a baby more than anything but i guess we are feeling scared as to what God has in store for us next.
Please if anyone has any sort of advice, it is definately welcomed. Best of luck to u all xo

[maybe baby]

Hi there

First of all, I am so sorry for your losses. Two in a row is very hard to take. There isn't anything magical I could say that would help so I won't try. You just have to live through it, let yourself heal and go on from there.

In such a mass of pain - it can be very hard to see the way forward but you are very young - you have years of child bearing ahead of you if you want. If I were you (and I haven't been in your position so I can only guess) I would give yourself a break for a while and them try again. But I would get a referral for a specialist and see if you can get some tests done as well.

Sasha

[Ozziehoffy]

to you. I don't have any advice sorry. Just wanted to say that I'm so sorry you've had to go through this. It's hard, especially so close together.

[butterfly_warrior]

Mumisabella, I am so very sorry that you are having to go through another tragic loss.

I'm afraid that the only advice I have for you is to allow yourself to grieve before you make any decisions on trying again. :hugs: I hope you and your partner can eventually find peace.

BW

[MistyFying]

Mumisabella I'm so sorry your little one has gone

[mumisabella]

Thankyou for all ur support. It is a very hard time but i am not 'desperate' to start TTC again soon, i mean i desperately want a baby but i know my body needs time like u have all said because i am both physically and mentally exhausted. I guess i am just terrified of this happening again and also of not being able to fall pregnant again as we would love t have a bubba next year, it's taking so long so i guess another few months waiting won't hurt if it means i have a better chance of carrying a healthy baby to full term and having them in my life, here on earth! Thanks again xoxoxo

[Marlene]

I am so sorry that this has happeneed to you, but please don't lose hope. I don't have advice from personal experience, but, my sister in law has just had a beautiful healthy baby after four m/c and a baby born sleeping at 22 weeks.
Let yoursleves grieve and then see a specialist who may be able to give you some answers, make sure you always get a second opinion if you are not satisfied with the answers or advice you are given.
In my SIL's case she had a blood clotting disorder that was one of the causes of her miscarriages, there are some causes that can be fixed and monitored if the doctors know what is wrong.

My heart goes out to you.....

[*Belle*]

I just want to send you big hugs and Im thinking of you.

[MummyDuck]

I agree with Kimnastics and Marlene - It must be so hard for you at the moment, although I can't say I know how you feel but I think it is important for you to find out why this is happening, I'm not sure if it is easier for them to determine it straight after a m/c or if they can do it at any time but if they can find out then you may just be able to prevent it happening again and it could put your mind to rest knowing that next time things are going to happen differently because next time you and your HCP will know more.

Next time you will still be scared but hopefully a little more confident (I know not the right word) then if you didn't know what happened the last two times.

I'm thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs and ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on should u need them.

[mumisabella]

Thankyou everyone for all ur kind thoughts. I am struggling with everyday but that is to be expected for a little while. Talking about it and hearing ppl's opinions and thoughts really does help! Good luck to u all on ur journies through life xo