Prime example of how our system is letting birthing mothers down....

[Beach Mama]

***This is long winded and not too coherent sorry VENT VENT VENT!***

I had my Dr appointment today, saw a Dr who I haven't seen before. She was young (cleary accounts for bugger all) and my first thought was, ok this should go well.

No exaggeration, these are the FULL sentences spoken to me by her today, and my responses:

" Hi my name is Dr XYZ" Nice to meet you.
"So the last one was breech" Um no my DD was posterior......
"No I mean your last appointment?" Oh ok - yes the midwife thought bub was breech.
"I'll get the u/s - lie on the bed ready for me to do your BP" Well I will sit because lying flat on my back kills. "Well I need you to lie for me to take your BP"
"BP is fine" Good, thanks. (By now I have an idea of how well this will go)
"Baby is head down- see, head, bum, definitely head down" Yay!
"You need a group B swab- go to the bathroom and blah blah" Ok (I did a pretty crap effort - hopefully will be neg!)
"Thanks goodbye, see you at 40 weeks" Uuuummmm bye.
I walk out - head reeling but excited and get to the desk and realise I wanted to talk to her about changing my c/s date. Go back and speak to the outpatient clerk who gets Dr XYZ back.

I explain that I forgot to talk to her but would like my dates changed as I am not comfortable with the date I have. She said - oh you are booked in for an elective c/s - clearly didn't even read my file while I was in with her. I tell her NO I am attempting a VBAC.
Her reply "It's not safe to go later than 9 days" Uuummm well I disagree. "Your risk of rupture is higher" Actually I have read comprehensively on this issue and again I disagree and still want to change my booking."Well there are a number of studies to show this is the case" Well I'd love to see them please.
"I'm not going to debate this with you now (sorry I already took up 10 mins MAX of your time during which you never asked me how I was feeling or if I had any questions) but you can discuss it at your 40 week appointment" Needless to say I walked out without even saying goodbye and promtly burst into tears in the car.

Why and how has birthing become such an "us and them" mentality? WHY can't birthing mothers question what is going to be done to them without being made to feel utterly powerless. I felt like CR@P and I KNOW I am right. Hate to know what it would be like if I doubted myself, which I don't at all but far out.

Too many Dr's just do not have the people skills to even be in their position. I had my birth plan with me and wanted to go through it and thought well stuff it, she is rude as hell so I will go through it with my midwives who are gorgeous, and they can put it in my file for my 40 appointment.

If I was a first time mum, meeting her for the first time, I would definitely walk out and think, well I'm just a number, she doesn't give a d@mn at ALL about me or my baby. BP, wee and other checks ticked off, see you later.

I think I am just more angry that other mothers who see the same person will come away feeling the same way, but in other cases they may question themselves, come away feeling devalued and horrible at a time that should be such a joy.

I am just glad I have educated myself, have a wonderful supportive family and friends around me and have come to a point where I trust my body to do what it needs to do. BB and you ladies are part of that support network so thank you.

Grrrr I have more I want to say but can't verbalise it all right now - might come back later.

[lila]

oh man,
this is our well established health system in the year 2008!!!!

i am glad you are educated enough and stood up for yourself. but rather then fighting the mother, there should be a "together" to achieve the best outcome for all (and also-a VBAC is a lot cheaper for the health system than a c/s...).
i guess, it is like you are a "number". there are too little docs having too little time for each patient, cost cutting everywhere....
i hope all goes well and maybe bubby decides to come before the 40 week app. anyway
fingers crossed

lila

[Arimeh]

Tan - pfft to her honey, don't let her attitude spoil your day. You will be there with your middies anyway so who needs that awful doc??

[Nelle]

Write a letter mate, let management know that you were treated by an incredibly impersonal doctor who didn't bother to check important things like your emotional state, and wasn't willing to discuss your VBAC options with you properly. Or whatever other issue you had.

Just a polite reasonable letter asking them to make sure that other people aren't treated with the same disrespect as you were. Hopefully she'll get reminded to at least pretend that she cares about patients. Good on you for sticking by what you believe to be right though!

[kirsty_lee]

I would think, well imo, that they should be empowering mothers to give birth not just shatter their hopes or make them feel inferior. If you know what your talking about, then they should be willing to discuss it with you. Regardless of whether they agree with how you are giving birth, they need to be unbiast and need to help you gain your goal, kwim? I would definately be writing a letter. At the end of the day it is YOUR body and YOUR baby they need to realise this and they should be setting in place steps to ensure that you can get your ideal birthing experience for YOU and no one else. Hopefully the rest of your day gets better, don't let people like that make you feel inferior darl, your doing what you think is best and that's all that matters. xox

[Kazmar]

Tan- Writing a letter is a great idea!
It's sad that some of these doctors spend all this time in school but dont learn people skills, when thats what their job is all about! She has probably never felt what its like to have a little wonder inside her and cant see why its so important to you to do it the natural way.

Dont let this reak your VBAC birthing experience and dont give that woman another minute of your thoughts, she doesn't deserve it. Except while you're writing the letter

Keep your head high! And just remember, he's HEAD DOWN!!!!

[~clover~]

As everyone else has said. It is your body & your birth. It's up to you, you know what you want, you know the risks, they should be willing to support you in your decision.
I'm sorry you were pretty much fobbed off.
I hope you have better luck at your 40 week appointment.

[BeautifulMadness]

thats really lazy of her. good on u for being so informed. if only more women where

[BellyBelly]

Awwww Tan... call me if you need hon... remember you are a number, it's your body/birth/baby/life... don't let them wear you down hon xx

[Early Kids]

I think you handled it very well, I'm glad you were able to stand up for yourself.

Good luck for you VBAC all the best.

[~Aveta~]

stick to your guns, my girl, and kudos for you for going back and asking more questions! thumb your nose at that rude insensitive doc. vbac is possible as you well know! i went two weeks over with my vbac and delivered a healthy 8.5 pound baby at home you can and will too!

[KimB]

Holy crap Tan, what was that Dr thinking (oh right she obviously wasn't).

Can you request a different doctor??? I would definitely write a letter and complain about her. If she is this uncaring then maybe she is in the wrong profession.

I would go with whomever makes you feel comfortable and relaxed and supports your decisions. It sounds like your M/W's are doing that.

Don't let her take away your empowerment. The only time anyone has power over us is when we give it to them.

Take care hun

Kim

[*Efjay*]

So glad I am seeing the midwife clinic. My last appointment I couldn't shut the women up LOL, She yakked about Isla's hair (or lack of LOL), her Dog, her vet appointment later that day. Just went on & on. BUT also asked how I was feeling, did I have any questions etc etc.
Can I ask why you don't see the OB again till 40 weeks? Thats 5 weeks away? Are you seeing someone else int eh mean time?

Leaving these thigns to be discussed at 40 weeks is cutting things a bit fine, especially if you think you will have a bit of a fight on your hands.

Im already being offered 2 weekly visits but declined to go another month seems im fine, bubs is fine & it is my 4th.

[Beach Mama]

Thanks all!
FJ - I have been doing Team Midwife care and they are just gorgeous, because I am "high risk" (pffft) I see whichever idiot Dr (hehe) is on duty at the hospital on a Friday. So today was technically my 36 week check. 38 week check is with midwives again and when I see them I am going to ask who I will be seeing at my 40 week appointment and if it is Dr XYZ I am going to ask them to rebook me to see someone else. I thought I was on weekly checks from around 36/38 weeks with Izzy but TBH I don't really care because my doula is fabulous and I have been healthy for the whole pregnancy.

[Enchanted]

So sorry this has happened Tan.

I would call and speak to whoever is in charge of her. Not sure if you remember when I went into hospital for a test and the Dr was a p!g!! I called and spoke to... umm..ahhh.. I forget but she was in charge of all the staff employed within that Imaging Group and she was lovely!! I just explained how hurt I was etc etc with the Dr's inconsiderate comments and she said she would have a chat with the Dr. Whether she did or not it made me feel better

Don't let that silly tw@t get you down hun

[Liviam]

Oh sweet heart I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. It just sucks. You handled the situation so beautifully we are all proud of you. Stick to your guns darl and talk to your midwives as they will be on your side and help you the best they can.
HUGE YAY ON LITTLE SPUNKIE BEING HEAD DOWN, YAY!!!!! VBAC here you come!!!

[Lulu]

Oh Tan! Ring Kel.

xoxoxoxoxxoxoxo

[shellbell3]

I have similar model care thru my hospital. I chose the midwife model of care but at certain weeks have to see whichever Dr/Ob is on in the outpatients clinic. I find the midwives fantastic, never feel rushed, feel so comfortable but with the Dr you don't know what you're gonna get and alot times I do feel rushed in and out cause they're so busy (the amount ppl in waiting room is ridiculous!)

And now in your case there is the prob that each Dr you see may have a different opinion on the situation. Of course the choice should be yours but it would make things easier if there was the one Dr who you could sit with and help make that plan work.