thread: Pros/Cons for finding out the sex?

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Aug 2004
    Sth East Melbourne

    Pros/Cons for finding out the sex?

    I am only 2-3 weeks away from having the big scan and we are still debating whether to find out munchkins sex or not?

    Can anyone help me with what their thought process was/is?

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Mar 2005
    Sydney, NSW

    I didn't find out the first time and it was wonderful, and this time we're going to find out. My sister found out last year when she was 18 weeks, and we were all waiting and SO Excited to hear what she was having. Id say the excitement of finding out then was the same as finding out at the birth and that's why Im going to go for it.
    Everyone's different, but Im looking forward to being able to prepare a room for the baby and buy some clothes before hand. Im sure whatever you decide will be the right decision.

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Jan 2004
    Melbourne, Australia

    i found out 'cos I am a control freak and had an amniocentesis and could not stand the thought of it being written in my file and me not knowing!! We told everyone what she was but kept the name a secret so there was a bit of mystery at the end. I liked knowing I could buy girl things and also I had a few friends that had finished their families so they took it as an opportunity to clean out their girls clothes and give them to me which was great, as when they are little you need lots of things but not good stuff.
    if I go again, I don't think I would find out as being a mum has cured me of being a control freak so I would like the surprise at the end.

  4. #4

    I wasn't going to find out with Kameron, but as soon as the u/sound started, he had legs wide open and the wand thingo was right on that spot so it was a bit hard to miss iykwim. We didn't tell any family though.

    With Lachlan we wanted to know in case we had to buy girl stuff, so it is good cause you can get organised with the right sort of stuff for your gender, but it is a con cause you don't get the IT'S A GIRL or IT'S A BOY after delivery cause you already know. Unless the u/sound is wrong which has happened, then it truly would be a surprise.


  5. #5
    Registered User

    May 2004

    We found out when I was pg with Nicholas as I am too impatient and had to know, plus then we knew what colour to buy, what colour to paint the nursery etc...

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Jan 2005
    Riverina, NSW

    I think it's helpful to find out for the first baby - everything else is so new and unsettled - its nice to have that firm bit of knowledge that you will have a son or daughter at the end of it all.

    I found out my first was a girl at 23 weeks only to give birth to a boy - so I got double the suprise!!

    So even if you do find out - it certainly aint set in concrete so don't buy too much - that's my advice!!

    Enjoy your pregnancy!!

  7. #7
    Platinum Member

    Nov 2004

    We found out at our 20 week scan. Initally I didn't want to know but DH said he did and he would keep it to himself and not tell me. Well, that was never going to happen, I couldn't stand him knowing and not me.

    I am really glad we found out and it was clear in the 3D/4D scan we had. We have so many clothes ready and it makes it easier to get the nursery ready too. My MIL is knitting and making everything in pink which is a worry as I don't want everything pink but how do you stop a doting grandmother!

    It is personal choice really so good luck with your decision Cindy.

  8. #8
    jcm73 Guest

    We found out with Molly. Our situation was that we REALLY wanted to have a girl, and if we waited until the baby was born, and it was a boy, then we'd be disappointed. BUT....if we found out halfway through then we'd have a chance to get used to the idea. We had amnio to check on everything fully, and there was also the added bonus of knowing for 100% sure what the sex would be. We'll be doing it again this time too.

  9. #9
    Pietta Guest

    I knew as soon as i fell pregnant that i was pregnant and i was having a boy so it took the mystery away for me. I got the check done so i could have confirmation more than anything. So my thought process couldnt help much- sorry

  10. #10
    Ms Lee Guest

    Hi there, my thought process has always been that whether you find out at 20 weeks or 40 weeks it's a surprise no matter what and that the sex of the baby is the least important part so why not have something to be joyful about while you wait the last 20 weeks. For me the real joy at the time of birth is holding and seeing my baby for the first time and making sure it is healthy.

    We have found out with both of ours and enjoyed every minute of knowing whether bubby was a he or she and not just an IT for 9 months. We chose not to tell anyone else though and have just kept the secret to ourselves which is also special. We just told people we didn't find out, that way if we slipped up no one thought anything of it.

    Good luck and enjoy!

  11. #11
    territowel Guest


    I personally haven't found out with any of my bubs... and my husband would be very upset if I did... The way he put it was kinda fair...

    We get the enjoyment of haveing the little one grow, roll and kick around (which lets admit is amazing) so he wants the surprise at the end...

    I am allowed to find out but I know I can't keep a secret so it's best I don't find out.... I'm fine with that.

    I don't think you will regret it if you do or don't as each way has it's benefits.... But as Sorka said it can be said one way and it's the other....

  12. #12
    Registered User

    May 2004

    We found out when pregnant with Kimberley and told no one did not even buy pink stuff until after she was born.

    This time we found out again. I'm glad we did as i have not had to wash so many old baby clothes as we are having a boy.

  13. #13
    *Megan* Guest

    This is my first baby and we both HAD to know whether it was a boy or a girl. For me, I desperately wanted a little girl first, so when I found out that we were having a boy - I really had to focus on the positives of having a little boy. If I hadn't found out and had a boy by surprise - I don't know how I would have reacted. On saying all this - I am thrilled to be having a boy now and am soooo glad that I found out! I have been talking to him for months now and feel very close to my unborn son.

    Good Luck with your decision!


  14. #14
    Registered User

    Mar 2005

    A comment I read recently likened finding out to unwrapping your Christmas presents early only to have to rewrap them until the big day. I found it very interesting.

  15. #15
    Registered User

    Aug 2004
    Sth East Melbourne

    Oh Bek - That christmas present thing has got me thinking now! THere is a fair bit of truth to it isn't there!

    we are still debating the topic.

  16. #16
    Registered User

    Sep 2004
    Sunshine coast, QLD

    I couldnt wait that long to find out, found with first son though that even with 3 scans saying boy i still wasnt convinced and didnt buy much blue at all beforehand, just in case they were wrong.
    This time around i knew when pregnant it was a boy and like someone else said ultrasound was just a confirmation for me, hubby was a bit dissapointed though but he got over it.
    If the three scans i have had are wrong this time, some charity will receive a lot of blue stuff