Thank you for the words of encouragement I keep trying to tell myself that people are made new mummies every day and everyone stumbles at first and I can make it too. Well that's what I try and tell myself anyway it's my 'staying sane' mantra lol.

I was looking at photos of birth before and what area bubs fits through and how it comes out and I'm not sure whether the birth or taking Ryan home is scarying me the most at the moment, even Dad2be let out some superlatives at the photos and is being all sooky over me atm. I keep telling myself my body is built to do that but it can't seem to take much comfort in it. I just hope he comes out ok . Maybe ignorance is bliss lol