To tell or not to tell??? :( eeekk what do I do??

[Ahurani]

We waited until 12/13 weeks.

I think you should tell her you'll need her support if it goes te other way

[luna moth]

I think you should tell her you'll need her support if it goes te other way

:yeahthat:

I told more people the second time round than the first. I found that the support was really important to me, and I had a fairly good idea of which friends would be wonderful, and which ones might be toxic.

I told my mum on her birthday, it was the same day as our dating scan. We told DH's mum at about 8 weeks.

[~MummaBear~]

im with the others.. i think you should tell her.. as heart breaking as making that call is, i think it would be harder without the support.. and fingers crossed it wont come to that!!

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

Just to further drive the point home, I agree with everyone else about telling them now. The fact that you're asking the question shows that you WANT to tell them, and I completely understand the fear of having to make 'that' announcement - I've done it 3 times now. I still tell everyone, coz then they understand why I hibernate until a certain gestation, and the support has been overwhelming. The first time round I had to tell my mum about the pregnancy and the miscarriage in the same phone call, which for me, sucked harder than just telling her about the miscarriage.

Scary times hun, sending lots of sticky vibes

[Reet]

I think i wld tell too... we were really adamant not to tell family or friends until the 12 week mark because we told them all at 6 weeks pg last time and my family were so excited they told EVERYONE!! I had the local butcher asking me months later why my tummy wasnt huge yet.. it was really hard explaining it to a random We only wanted to wait this time because i didnt want to wreck the excitement for my family.. its the first grandchild and i wanted my parents and sisters to be super excited and not worried for us!
It backfired tho.. at 10.5 weeks my mum busted out with 'I have booked a cruise for next april!' Oh my god i nearly died when i found out she was going to be gone right on my due date. She has been trying to organise this cruise with my auntie and uncle for months and months. We decided we had to tell then so she had enough time to cancel and change dates.
She is still trying to work out a new date now.. and sadly her and her partner will have to go on their own because all the others have to go on that date in april.
I feel really bad (my mum is fine about it tho.. definitely no guilt trip) because if we had told them even just a week earlier she wldnt have wasted a few thousand dollars on the cruise.
Like the others have said.. if u can trust ur mum not to tell (a few stern words will probably need to be used!) i wld definitely be telling them. I hope u can convince ur dh that its the right and best thing to do
Good luck!
xx

[Maruschke]

I feel like the odd one out, LOL. I wouldn't tell, at least not until I was on the same page as DP (and got there without twisting his arm). DP is the most important person to have alongside you on this journey.

Hopefully your mother and MIL will understand.

[Chocaholic]

I agree with PrincessXanthe. You need to respect your DP wishes. Ask if he wouldn't mind you telling you mum and dad if they promise to keep quiet to the rest of the family.

Otherwise just tell your parents that June is a long time away and your concentrating on organising something for Christmas at present. You can organise something for June once December is finished.

[lissy]

Well thanks for all the replies guys but it was a bit of a moot point. I decided to tell her and I may as well have not bothered. I got a txt along the lines of 'Congrats, good luck & look after yourself, Dad and I will be in SA house sitting at that time next year'.
So came home, sat on the couch and ate a packet of tomato chips and bawled my eyes out. DF got home and I told him I'd had a sneezing fit & he told me that was crap. So when I told him he says he's really not surprised that she did that and it doesn't matter what she says or thinks only what we do.

In a way he's right but she's still my mum so it's really dissapointing when she does things like this. And it's crappy when he basically says 'I told you so'. See she can be like this, when we told her we were planning our wedding she said she was happy than avoided it like the plague and never asked how things were going at all.

I mean why bother asking me if I needed her to be around in June, when I say that I do, she's making other plans anyway??? Gee it's their first grandchild and they can't be bothered????? Feeling slightly better after getting that off my chest, sorry guys probably mainly hormones anyway