To tell or not to tell??? :( eeekk what do I do??

[lissy]

Ok I'm torn at the moment whether to tell my mum that I'm pregnant. We had decided that we wouldn't tell people untill I was around 16 weeks PG this time round as we had just started to tell family and friends last time when I mc'd our first baby in Jan this year at almost 13 weeks.

I'm now approx. 6 weeks?? not sure as haven't had dating scan yet. My mum and dad have joined the 'grey nomads' and travel around australia most of the time. My mum text me today wanting to know if we would need them to be around in Winter next year.....I will be due in June......so I said yes possibly for a little bit in June. Well didn't that put my foot in it!! Mum wants to know whats happening in June... I don't really want to lie but at the same time really don't want to make 'THAT' phone call again if things don't turn out this time. What do you think I should do????

[lissy]

I should also mention that DF is pretty much against us telling anyone untill 16 weeks still and would rather I lie about it

[Beach Mama]

I guess it depends on your relationship hun, I would be telling my mum (and did as soon as I knew each time ) because even if I mc'd I would be telling mum about it regardless. If I had mc'd and they didn't know I was pg they would hear about it anyway iykwim. If you think that you wouldn't tell the about another mc then it might be different I guess, so you might be able to say you are planning on having a holiday or something I guess?

[Cocolove]

Maybe you can just tell her quietly and ask her not to mention to absoloutly anyone, you dont want her making plans for winter & not being able to be around
xx

[~Hestia~]

Maybe you can just tell her quietly and ask her not to mention to absoloutly anyone, you dont want her making plans for winter & not being able to be around
xx

:yeahthat:

[Asparagus and Lemons]

Yeah I'd tell her too, my mum and I have a great relationship. We wern't going to tell anyone until we were 12 weeks but I couldn't contain myself and told my parents at 8 weeks, and am so glad we did! It's great to have that little bit of extra support

[PumpkinZulu]

I can only speak for what DF and I did personally, so it doesn't apply to everyone and is certainly not adivce.

We told everyone, I think it was at about 4 weeks? Pretty much straight away. We did this because this is our 5th pregnancy in 20 months, and with the other 4, we didn't tell anyone, except the first, we told my mum. Family and friends are very importnant to DF and I, and going through 4 miscarriages alone was just hell. That, and our babies lives never got celebrated, or even acknowledged This time, we have support and love around us, no matter what happens, and I like it much better this way! We lost our bubbas at 8 weeks, 4 weeks, 5 weeks and 5 weeks, and I'm now a day shy of 7 weeks, so already things are looking really good for us! We feel so positive this pregnancy and I think a lot of that has to do with people knowing and being there for us. Not everyone's choice, in fact our choice goes against the grain a lot, but it works for us.

I would be inclined to tell your mum, especially if you have a good relationship with her. That way you have her support, and someone irl to share everything with

[Miss K]

I would tell parents only its nice to have that extra support we didn't tell brothers sisters or friends till after our 12 week scan!

[Jakabella]

We always told our parents from the week that we found out with both our successfull pgs and our MC's. I guess I always have my mums support not matter what anyway and I need that in good and bad times.

Up to you though - I would tell her and specify that she is to tell no one else.

Good luck!

[toomanyshoes]

I think it depends on your relationship with your parents, if your close to them and you know they wont blab then I would tell them.

But if we're lucky enough to get another BFP one day I don't think I'll be telling my mum, she can't keep her mouth shut! lol

[peanutter]

Ouch !

I feel for you ... we got a similar response when we announced our engagement ... and later when announcing our pg to the inlaws ... "that's nice ... more coffee?"

And brother in law and wife have met DS once. yes, once. when we happened to be at MIL's place, and they dropped around there ... and through the entirity of the pregnancy, I received one text from MIL, one visit from FIL and nothing whatsoever from BIL or his wife ... and when DH told his brother the baby was borth, we got a text back! Then the accidental meeting was about 8 weeks later.

this is the only grandchild, nephew, niece, etc on that side of the family for the past 24 years - this isn't old hat, it's just complete disinterest from that side of the family (though the parents in law have probably visited 5 times or so since the birth).

Fun!

But the "I told you so," response must have ouched too ... so sorry to hear!

Hope she comes around, and gets excited for and with you pronto

[Reet]

Awwww i hope its ur mums hormones that are a bit crazy right now and she does eventually realise that this is a huge thing! If nothing changes tho, ur dh is right.. its you 2 in this journey.. love every moment of it.. dont let anyone else ruin it for u. xx

[Mum2Romone]

it sucks Mums have a way of being such downers to important news....

As long as you and your partner are super excited stuff everyone else!!!!

[Miss.B]

Well said M2R, I couldn't have said it better myself!

Lissy, I'm sorry your mum is being a pain in the you know what, mine can be like that too. Gotta love them.

Congrats on your pg hun, wishing you and your hubby all the very best!!

Beata x