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Thread: Telling your families

  1. #1

    Default Telling your families

    What was it like when you told your familes you are pregnant ??

    I told mine after my first scan at 6 weeks and got the whole congratulations bit and hope everything works out well this time.

    We told MIL last night because we had the 12 week scan Thursday and wanted to make sure everything was still going well.
    Maybe i have taken her reation the worng way and we did only do it over Messenger as they are always too busy for a phone call.
    When we told her all she said was "take my breath away, when" and then she went on to say that Paul will need to have the snip next and that was it no more talk or the new baby even when we send her the scan photo nothing was said other than she got it ok.

    Is it just me being pg or was her reation odd ??

    Maybe she thought because we already have one of each we wouldn't go on to have anymore and it wasn't like we weren't trying.


  2. #2

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    I told my mum around 5 weeks.. she said things like "really?" but i could tell she was kinda shocked a little behind that "really?". Because of that I held off telling my dad until after our scan at 5 weeks and 4 days (being my dad i was a little worried what he would say) as up until then we were still unsure what we were going to do as this baby wasnt planned. But when i told him he was the most supportive of anyone i have told. Hes a big believer that everything happens for a reason and believed in us that we could do this.. which was really nice.
    Mum told my sister around then too and she was extatic. DH told his parents also and they were also really excitied.

    I think at first if family arent expecting it, it is a massive shock and they dont know how to get their head around it all. As time goes on you will see that everyone will be just as, if not more excited than you are. As long as you are happy, thats all that really matters

  3. #3
    cazoraz Guest

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    I found that everyone was so excited and we got such huge reactions when we announced our pregnancy with lucy, that the reactions to our second pregnancy announcement was a real anti-climax. Its like it was no big deal, people expected it a bit more, and no-one was very excite dat all. It made me really down for awhile but I got over it eventually.

    The same thing happened at Cole's birth too, while we had visitors at hospital and home, it was nothing like the over-abundance that Lucy received with weeks and weeks of visitors EVERY DAY, very bizarre.

  4. #4

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    Maybe she was just surprised and wasn't expecting it right now IYKWIM? I think in time she will be OK, but she might not have realised you wanted another child now and that you may have waited longer or something.

    I got that from both our parents too with #3, mainly because all of ours are reasonably close together and I think they'd thought we'd wait a bit longer. But they were still very happy about it.

  5. #5

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    I have had odd reactions from my mum on all 3 of my pgs. She is supportive but I think she just thought we would wait.
    I know with #1 she did say that she thought we were going to wait till we had more money. #2 I can't really remmeber her reaction but I know it wasn't the huge congratulations one would expect. This time round I told her not long after my sister told she was also pg. Again it wasn't the over the moon response I would have thought but I think she was still in shock about my sister.
    I don't care though, we are over the moon so thats what counts!

  6. #6

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    My Family were alittle (alot) shocked, as i wasn't with the babies father (we had broken up just before i found out ~ Back together now) My mum didn't want to beleive it, and started crying, my step dad was the most supportive said congrats - hope she/he turns out as good as you kids, my real dad said "well this is what we planned" Hmm, i can never remember being a 'we'!!! Partners side of the family didn't say anything... And my brother - just told me to get rid of it... so as far as support went i didn't get any for quite some time...

    But when it came to me having a threaten misscarriage - they were all by my side with words and higs of support!

  7. #7
    xox_jessie_xox Guest

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    um well i told my aunty first but i think she already kinda knew i was preg lol but she was really excited.. um come to think of it her husband was more excited lol he seems to be the one always askin questions not her lol as for my mum and dad my mum didnt believe me at 1st she was like hang on doesnt two pink lines mean your not preg lol and my dad cried (awww) it wasnt coz he was mad it was just shock i think now they are soooo excited lol chuckin names at me here and there....as 4 Tim's (my boyfriend) side um i dont think they were really impressed at all... his mum was like calling my mum all the time at 1st saying that he was to young to become a father and wateva Grrr they still now dont eva ask about the baby or talk to me...
    Last edited by xox_jessie_xox; July 23rd, 2006 at 04:38 PM.

  8. #8

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    My mum was thrilled to bits when we told her we were preg at 6 weeks - as were my siblings (sister screamed when i showed her the test and began to cry!!!) - but then they too had a fair idea we were TTC.

    DH's family were also excited - very shocked as they had no idea we were even close to TTC - and did the whole crying thing which was lovely. But a few days later MIL made this big scene saying to us all that she hadn't stopped crying for days (i am thinking - sweet but a bit over the top) cause she wished her own mother (who passed away 10yrs ago) was still alive to share it. I definately think it was lovely that she felt that way but i have to admit it did put a damper on it cause her happiness was so short lived and just turned into sadness.

    Oh well! - We did embrace all the other excitement we were given from our friends and other family members and it truly was a wonderful time in our lives being able to share such special news!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. #9

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    With my first DS, both sides of the family were ok, but not too excited as we were not married, but they warmed up pretty quickly.
    Number 2 DD, they were all like ,,,,,,,,you are are you?. But when I lost her at 30 weeks, we ALL cried for a long time.
    Number 3 DS, they were all exstatic
    Number 4DS the reaction I got from the inlaws was "you arent are you?, and my mother told DH to get a vasectomy.
    So this time, we are waiting till around the 10-12 weeks and we arent looking foward to the reactions from them at all, In fact, we might have to move state lol. But we dont care, we have 3 boys, and so dearly want a little girl. This is our last chance, and have already organised with the GP that at the c-section i want a tubal ligation anyways,,,,,,but I know they wont be excited at all, but that will be their loss, not ours.

  10. #10

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    Sorry that your MIL didnt show more excitement Michelle. I'm sure theyre happy for you. Maybe you just caught her at a not so great time?

    My mum was thrilled when we told her. It will be the first gradchild for her. She asked me who she could tell because she wants to tell everyone she knows.
    DH's parents were excited too. There is already 4 grandchlidren on their side. I was chatting to his mum on the phone after we told them and she said that FIL was walking around the house with a massive grin.

  11. #11

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    I'm really sorry to hear about your MIL - as has been mentioned, maybe she was just shocked or having a bad moment.

    We haven't told anyone yet - I'm a wee bit nervous (we are only 8 weeks 1 day), and want to wait until 12 weeks. I am sure my mum will be ecstatic (she keeps asking if we are trying), she will probably tell everyone else and we won't have to worry about it then (!), this is one of the reasons why we aren't saying anything yet in case she lets slip because she's so excited! Also, our 12 week mark is my mum's birthday and we thought it would be really exciting to be able to tell her then - it would make her day!

    Hopefully your MIL warms up.
    Rachel

  12. #12

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    Ruddy families, there's always one! With me it was my grandad (who ignored the news) and an aunt (who only got excited a few days later on the phone to my mum). It really put a downer on me!

    Tell someone nice with a good reaction next, that's always a fantastic thing to get you over it, and don't worry about MiL. Rude people are rude people and TBH I'd rather they be rude to me than rude to everyone else about me. At least my aunt is excited with my mum, so my mum can be happy with someone else.

  13. #13

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    Sorry that your MIL wasn't more excited. I haven't had the pleasure of announcing a pregnancy yet, but I've seen in my inlaws family and my extended family that they get less and less excited with each arrival.

    I agree with the other girls - share your news with people you know are going to be extremely happy and excited for you

  14. #14

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    Michelle

    She's your MIL, remember MILs are a strange breed and their main aim in life is to bewilder you and unintentionally hurt you with their thoughtless words and actions...... or is that just mine

    Wait until you announce number 4, i got stunned silence from my Mum who then said what do you want more for, the MIL said the usual "well i wont be happy if its not a girl this time", and i really wondered why i'd bothered telling either of them. If we find out what we are having i'll not tell them as i know the reaction from both of them will either be... oh dear another boy or oh a girl at least you can stop trying now.... i find that many older people have this idea in their head that once you have one of each then thats it you shouldn't have any more, it seems as though to them having one of each is what you strive for in having children, plus i'm sure the idea of falling pregnant unintentionally is just unimaginable to some of them I can imagine my MIL coming out with "goodness you have a boy and a girl what are you bothering sharing a bed for".

    Ignore her and vow never to be as insensitive to your own DIL

    Taz

  15. #15
    sunshine Guest

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    Michelle,
    I notice you have angel babies - does your MIL know about them? If so, she could be trying not to let herself get too excited, which could come across as cold; or she could be worried for you and your hubby?

    Families do have a way of "letting you down" on occasions like this. My Mum's immediate reaction was, "On purpose?". I was very insulted, but got over it. I haven't seen her since February (she lives in England) and it's hard to keep on the same wavelength sometimes.

    G

  16. #16

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    Sunshine MIL knows about two of the Angel babies but not the last one. We made sure we waited until after my 12wk scan to tell her as we didn't want them to know before that just in case something went wrong.

    I think a lot of it is to do with us living here and them being in the UK but my family are in the same situation and i told them at 6wks i was pregnant again and they where happy for us and they knew about my last Angel baby.

  17. #17
    sunshine Guest

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    Yeah, the distance is a real issue, especially with time difference. And it often amazes me how different mine and DH's families are!

    I suppose the only way to find out for sure how she's feeling is to ask her...if your relationship with her would allow. On second thoughts even then, you may never know...I suppose maybe the Irish prayer (ie:worry about things you can change) is the answer? Sorry, not much help.

    G

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