thank you everyone for being so honest and open.

Ive had alot of time lately to reflect on my pg's...the what if's ect.

Whilst I totally agree with being prepared of having a child with a special need and having 2 children with special needs I realyl think that it put alot more pressure on myself.

eg

DS1 I was monitored over and over....because I lacked the confidence within myself I followed like a lost sheep and induced at 41weeks resulting in stressed out baby and emergency c/s. No explanation to why DS couldnt come out naturally yet have a 'normal' child

DS2 was a straight forward pg....3 u/s....nothing detected...DS was unofficially diagnosed with austim at 18 months old.

DD1 u/s were choosen by us so we could prepare DS2 with the birth of either a baby brother or sister, and to prepare ourselves if by chanch baby was a boy (extremely high chances of next boy being on the spectrum if born after a spectrum child). Told at 13 weeks that nuc fold was 4mm and high chanch of downs...asked if we'd like to terminate and was advised it would be a good 'option' as we already had one child with special needs. Also told at u/s that DD would be 11 pound due to GDD. Very stressed out last month of pg..DD born 5 days prior ro booked c/s date weighing 6pound 7 oz. Perfect little girl.
It was at this time that we had a private ob who was surprised to find out that it was never picked up via u/s and that noone had ever told me that my pelvis was twisted and wouldnt be able to give birth naturally.

DS3 - u/s again asked in preparation for DS2...told to expect another girl at 3 u/s at 20, 22 and 23 weeks and a sigh of reliefe for us due to the autism factor. extremely complicated pg were u/s was done at 36weeks to reveal that 'she' was actually a 'he' . My blood pressure went through the roof and I pushed any love I had for my unborn baby aside. The tech had noted that there was a problem with the umbilical cord but nothing was done. No change of date was given for my scheduled u/s. The cord was wrapped around my babies neck 3 times and was full of clots that had travelled to his brain. The placenta had actually started to calcify and dye. He now had CP and the first year of his life was an extreme rollercoaster that no amount of preparation would have helped me. It took me a hell of a long time to bond with him....I couldnt let myself 'love' him until he got over the 3 month mark incase he died as it was 'forcasted'

As I said that I do agree with you who do them. I totally get why you would do them again. The system let me down I think and rather then having to do through all that stress that I had, which esculated with ever u/s I would have rather be unbenowns and enjoy my pg's in peace